Parlez~me~'n~Tory

Rightly Wry, Satirically RIGHT

A warning to the Government of cutting too deeply without proper consultation:

Ten Civil Servants standing in a line
One of them was downsized
Then there were nine

Nice Civil Servants who must negotiate
One joined the union
Then there were eight

Eight Civil Servants thought they were in heaven
‘til one of them was redeployed
Then there were seven

Seven Civil Servants, their jobs are safe as bricks
One was reclassified
Then there were six

Six Civil Servants trying to survive
One of them was privatised
Then there were five

Five Civil Servants ready to give more
But one left on long-term sick
Reducing them to four

Four Civil Servants full of loyalty
Then their jobs were advertised
And now there were three

Three Civil Servants under review
One left on secondment
Then there were two

Two Civil Servants coping on the run
One went on stress leave
Then there was one

The last Civil Servant agreed to relocate
Replaced by 10 consultants
At thrice the hourly rate

When I rose at 4AM today on the eve of the most important General Election not just in a generation but quite possibly the most important in modern times I was faced with an e-mail which outlines one man’s thoughts on his association with the Conservative Party and how it has been a part of his life since early childhood.

This is not a blog post contributed by some fanatical (can’t see the wood for the trees) grass rootist, this is not an anti-Government or anti-Labour rant, no, this is the genuine, honest account of a hard working, take nothing for nothing British worker who has seen good times and bad times. A contribution by a man who has never earned over £12k in any given year in his entire life, owns his own home, has never sat back and demanded that society owes him or his family anything yet who has everything he needs.

This is a contribution that I am proud to host this morning as I truly believe it shows how so many people on the streets of Britain are thinking and feeling this morning. If you enjoy this contribution (whether you feel you agree or not please consider using one of the “share this” buttons at the foot of the post, if you only use Twitter there is one specifically for that too).

Finally, this contribution is unedited in any way save for one small spelling error as I feel I at least owe that much to the contributing author, my father, Alan Wicks.

My life as a Tory

My introduction to politics came when I was fairly young, my parents (in particular my Mother) were staunch Conservatives, as a result of which, when I was about 10/11 years old I would be found outside the polling station at election time “telling” for the Tories (Although Tories was considered a bit of an insult then when it was really known then as the Conservative and Unionist Party).

I would be “telling” from the opening of the polls, which in those days was much earlier, before heading off to school. After school on Polling Day I would go with my Parents to the Party Committee Rooms at the bottom of our road to help record those voters we knew had voted and chase up those who had still to vote.

These were days when everyone knew very few people who owned a motor vehicle, but those supporters and activists who did own a car would volunteer to drive the elderly and infirm to the polling stations to cast their vote. Although young, I can still remember attending the “Count” at Hornsey Town Hall and cheering the result when our candidate won.

The first Election I can really remember was when Sir David Gammon was up against the Labour Candidate R.A.Pestell, in 1952 when Sir David won with a vote of 36,417 vs 25,643, Out of an electorate of 75,131 there was an 82.6% turnout (unlike the apathy of today) giving Sir David a majority of 17.36% (OK, I do not remember the figures which I have obtained today from the internet, but I do remember him winning).

I can recall him coming into the committee rooms whilst I was there and coming over to speak with me, being the youngest person there.

When Sir David died he was succeeded in his post by his wife Lady Muriel Gammon.

I always voted Conservative for the rest of my life when I voted in a General Election or ByElection, but not always did I manage to get to the polling stations. When Margaret Thatcher became PM I was obviously very happy and expected good things for the future, and in general I was not dissapointed, I agreed with most of her policies but must admit to being disappointed that she was not able to implement all of them.

I still feel that the Principles behind the “Poll tax” was a lot fairer than either the previous “Rates” or current “Council Tax”, something I know will probably upset a lot of people, even fellow Tories, but there again, I am talking about “principles” behind the concept which was not necessarily recognized by everyone.

By the time Tony Blair and New Labour won the right to govern I must admit to being secretely a little relieved because there had been so much infighting within the Tory Party and so much reported sleaze that I felt it was good that they would have a short period to regroup, fully expecting Labour to fail within a couple of years, therefore giving us a chance to regain power.

Blair’s claim of an open government, no sleaze etc sounded good, but it soon become obvious that sleaze is only something that is practiced by the ruling party, at least, it is normally only the ruling party that gets the stick for it, if it is the Opposition party it tends to be overlooked, unless there is a pending election.

Anyway, I was getting more and more frustrated with the way Labour was completely changing our lives, controlling everything we do and making more and more things illegal, without even properly consulting with us that I was absolutely overjoyed when I discovered that my youngest son had applied to CCHQ to become a PPC.

I had never to my knowledge pressurised him in any direction regarding Politics or Religion, I believed my kids should follow their heart and I would support them in their beliefs, even if it differed with my own, it at least meant they were making sensible judgements of their own and not being pressurised into their opinions.

We had never, as far as I can remember had any serious political discussions so I was extremely supportive of his ambitions.

I was disapointed when he was turned down due to the volume of applicants on this occasion, and slightly relieved at the same time when I realised what it could cost him financialy at this particular time in his life, but I know he is determined and he is planning on following his heart and applying again in the future and he will have my 100% support.

I said earlier that I had always voted Tory in major elections, though I must admit on a couple of local elections I have voted Independent rather than follow the party line if I knew the Independent candidate and believed they would be the best person for the job irrespective of my Conservative beliefs.

I have also worked with the Liberals (pre LibDem days) in a local dispute, something I started and they tried to jump in, I was happy for their support, but they certainly did not ask for or gain any voting support from me.

I firmly believe that this country is now in a terrible state and that we desperately need a change for the future and that the Tories are the only Party that can give us this.

OK, I know there is going to be a long period of real Pain in order to recover our position in the world, but there is at last a chance of a light at the end of the tunnel, when Britain can once again be great, we can be proud of our once great nation and we can prosper, our kids will once again be properly educated, our businesses will prosper, bringing employment opportunities to nearly everyone and our streets will be safe to walk once more.

And finally, when we hear someone say “Trust me, I am a politician” we can believe and trust in them.

We all know how often Gordon Brown has been caught out with broken promises and his lies but now he has hit record lows in his bid to lie his way back to No10.

The PM who, it seems, is incapable of telling a single truth artificially inflated figures for job creation and then forced his lies upon not just his Cabinet but us, the general public.

I have thought about how to word this blog post and in truth I could not word it better than how it appears in the Telegraph and so is therefore reproduced below:

Shadow chief Treasury secretary Philip Hammond cited Treasury figures which suggested the true figure could be as little as half the 500,000 hailed by the PM and used in April’s Budget.

And he pointed out that even the upper end of the official estimate – which the civil servants who compiled it warned came with ”huge uncertainty” – was only 450,000.

In a letter to Sir Michael Scholar, chair of the UK Statistics Authority, Mr Hammond also pointed to Treasury advice that it would be wrong to claim credit for the contribution to the jobs figure made by independent Bank of England policies on interest rates and quantitative easing.

”The result of this presentational inaccuracy by the Prime Minister – accidental or otherwise – has been significantly to overstate the impact of the Government’s discretionary fiscal policy interventions, misleading the public, business and the financial markets with potentially serious consequences,” he said.

The Treasury note, released under freedom of information laws, advised that: ”You could say ‘supported up to 450,000 jobs’ in the Budget speech.

”A public statement should be worded carefully. It would be misleading to state that this number of jobs had been created.”

The Prime Minister’s spokesman said: ”The methodology that was used is consistent with the methods the OECD (Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development) and ILO (International Labour Organisation) use to create estimates for the G20.

”It is internationally accepted that you would round up a figure, so the figure is rounded up.”

The spokesman said that the estimates were ”correct” and added that many more jobs had been supported by Government action since the Budget.

To lie so bare faced and to in so public a fashion disgusts Parlez~me~’n~Tory.

There is now a new hashtag on Twitter #gordonsbrokenpromises feel free to use and exercise your disgust.

Today Parliament begins its summer recess and I can’t help worrying for what’s in store during the coming weeks.

Ok, we all know that the majority of the Labour Party have already taken their leave of absence 48hrs before the Norwich North by-election in a desperate bid to avoid having to be put up on display (which in certain Scottish circles is AKA DoonAHoon) to explain the pain, the agony and to convince us that this is only a mid-term protest vote.

I can even hear Gordon Brown uttering those now all-too-familiar words:

I’ve been listening to the people of this country and they don’t want an election right now they want us, the Government, the elected representatives to get on with the job of…

The usual mumbling with that inane grin as he stumbles through some badly rehearsed spiel that seems to have had the name of Tony scribbled out and Gordon written in in crayon across the top.

That the Labour Party will fail in Norwich North is not open to debate, that they will fail spectacularly is not open to debate. That the Conservatives will all but wipe Labour from the constituency is being uttered in some circles. In fact, as the Labour candidate was taken ill with swine flu last evening Lord Mandelson siezed on the opportunity to cancel a trip to the constituency claiming he didn’t want to be with the great unclean, it seems to me that Chris Ostrowski is being well and truly hung out to dry as the sacrificial lamb to the slaughter.

None of this worries me, not in the least, it is simply what we have come to expect. What does worry me, however, is how the charm offensive has come on and come on strong from No10 in the form of the PM’s wife via her Twitter account @SarahBrown10 (has anyone told her yet that pretty soon that ’10′ will look pretty foolish)?

Having read Paul Waugh’s very brief blog this morning one could be mistaken for believing that the PM is indeed hanging up his boots, sealing the final chapter in a political disaster that can only end one way and saying goodbye to the nation; we should be so lucky.

However, let’s take that theory for a minute and put to good use the ‘charm’ machine that’s been building at quite a rapid pace and consider, just consider for one minute that the PM does return only as caretaker / manager of No10.

It has to be said, if he does that will be a substantial increase in his responsibility since he single handedly signed the governance of Great Britain PLC over to Lord Mandelson.

So, over the coming weeks I fully expect to see reports of how the Browns are:

Chowing down with some homies, b4 heading to the fitba

Enjoying lunch with needy ppl from under privileged societies

@Please_GoBro Thank you for your very kind wishes for the good work my husband does

Whereby of course @Please_GoBro doesn’t exist and there were in fact no kinds words ever uttered, certainly not for the work (good or otherwise) that Sarah’s husband does; (actually he does exist but I just haven’t posted any Tweets yet).

If you doubt what I say why not take a look at what has happened to the Daily Mail, The Times and even The Independent and Telegraph, all falling over themselves to show how ‘for the moment’ Sarah is. Now, if that isn’t the No10 PR system in full swing then what is it?

So, are we to expect a ‘sudden’ resignation in early October or are we simply witnessing the first stage of the runaway charm offensive?

With a General Election deadline of 3rd June 2010 I thought it prudent to ponder a few reasons why the nation’s voters should consider placing their valuable cross in any box but Labour when the time comes.

Reason:1
National debt – Courtesy of #GoBro and Alistair (Clemtine) Darling

Sourced:Public Sector National Debt (PSND) in Table C4 of Budget 2009. PSND rising from £609.1 billion on 5 April 2009 to £792 billion a year later. This is the most conservative of the available debt indices as it excludes liabilities for PFI deals, public sector pensions and bank bailouts.

Family share: Calculated by dividing the national debt figure by the number of households in the UK. Number of households taken as 25.7 million, as per the written answer to a Parliamentary question in March 2009.

Reason:2
e-mailGate – Damian McBride and Derek Draper

Jack and Jill

For a grounding into the vile and false allegations that caused the scandal that almost unseated the man with the black felt pen click the image of Damian McBride and Derek Draper.

Reason3:
Spiralling Unemployment

Unemployment rose by a record 281,000 to 2.38 million in the three months to May the largest quarterly rise since records began in 1971.

Young people up to 24 years old have been particularly hard hit with unemployment leaping to a 16-year high of 726,000.

The number of young people out of work for more than a year rose by over 46,000 to approximately 528,000, which is the highest for 11 years, and yet we constantly hear that Labour is the best option.

30 years later, what's changed?

There seems only one option and that is for the nation to rally itself and to turn out on the day of the General Election. Right now, I don’t care who you aim to vote for but vote you must. Do NOT let this group of deceitful people cling on any longer to the power that they crave.

Please vote. If you Twitter then please follow @Parlez~me~’n~Tory and consider using the hashtag #GoBro.