Parlez~me~'n~Tory

Rightly wry, satirically right

Parlez~me~’n~Tory doesn’t really do a QUOTE OF THE DAY special. Partly because I think I’d miss most of the candidates and partly because so many other bloggers do it better, faster and more succinctly than I possibly could.

However, as of today I am introducing a new category for the award of a NEWARK to the most spiteful, vile, horrible, ridiculously contempt statement made by a member of a Political Party or by one of its PPCs.

How fitting that I choose today to issue the first NEWARK to DAVID WRIGHT MP following his outrageously stupid Tweet from yesterday afternoon.

In this instance, rather than describe the events that led to DAVID WRIGHT becoming the first recipient I shall simply let the excellent Twitterer ToryRadio tell the story.

At what point did you realise the scum sucking phrase had been used David Wright?

The claim that the twitter account of David Wright just doesn’t add up IMHO.

Let run through some of the tweets. Anyone can go through all the tweets to and from @davidwrightmp here. No mention of account being hacked until the story is picked up on by mainstream media. Funny that!

…read the entire post HERE

DAVID, want to get your hands on the NEWARK? Give me a call, drop me a line and I shall send it right over so everyone can see how much of a NEWARK you really are!

In 1975 Freddie Mercury and Queen, recorded “A night at the opera” on that album there was a track called “Death on two legs”.

This, in my opinion is the most descriptive set of words ever compiled to discuss the dreadful subject that is Gordon Brown and the effect he has had on Britain.

The lyrics to “Death on two legs” follows as does a “soundtrack” video.

Watch and READ: For those ex-military, WATCH AND READ

Death on two legs

You suck my blood like a leech
You break the law and you preach
Screw my brain till it hurts
You’ve taken all my money
And you want more
Misguided old mule with your pig headed rules
With your narrow minded cronies
Who are fools of the first division
Death on two legs
You’re tearing me apart
Death on two legs
You’ve never had a heart of your own
Kill joy bad guy big talking small fry
You’re just an old barrow boy
Have you found a new toy to replace me?
Can you face me?
But now you can kiss my ass goodbye
Feel good are you satisfied?
Do you feel like suicide?
(i think you should)
Is your conscience all right
Does it plague you at night?
Do you feel good feel good?

You talk like a big business tycoon
You’re just a hot air balloon
So no one gives you a damn
You’re just an overgrown schoolboy
Let me tan your hide
A dog with disease
You’re the king of the ’sleaze’
Put your money where your mouth is
Mister know-all
Was the fin on your back
Part of the deal? (shark)
Death on two legs
You’re tearing me apart
Death on two legs
You’ve never had a heart (you never did) of your own
(right from the start)
Insane you should be put inside
You’re a sewer rat decaying in a cesspool of pride
Should be made unemployed
Then make yourself null and void
Make me feel good i feel good

Do you agree? Do you have a better alternative?

There comes a time in your life when you have to stop what it is you are doing and reassess your life, your priorities and ultimately your goals.

In fact, I suspect there are many times that occur during our lives that require this reassessment but for the most part we just react and move on without giving a second thought. I have just had one of those moments, not the ones that go by without anyone barely noticing but the other kind, the life changing kind that requires input to steer the ship to safety.

After my rejection from CCHQ for candidacy I took serious stock of my life and my values and I came out the other with a self imposed hiatus on blogging for a week to allow my batteries to recharge and my family to take precedence; this was achieved.

Today I am back, I have a new purpose in my life and in my blog and we still have the same old goal, one of ensuring that David Cameron is the next Prime Minister that is voted in by the electorate of Great Britain.

We’ve already had a whiff of Labour’s upcoming General Election campaign over the past week with Harriet Harman spewing lies about how marriage is supported by the Conservatives and those utter ridiculous class claims by Gordon Brown.

So, as the Cabinet enters its final phase and the Government is in the death throws of its final breath Parlez~me~’n~Tory simply says – Let the games begin!

John, this is getting silly but I am currently having more fun than Tracy Temple.

After the #fail that led to John Prescott endorsing Mayor Boris Johnson’s council tax freeze I thought I would give John the benefit of the doubt and watch his video.

I guess I shall have to come back later!

Oh dear, do you 10 bob for the meter?

This afternoon we witness yet another epic #fail by our former Deputy Prime Minister as he attempts to smear the Conservative Party.

Firstly, one of his Tweets was ReTweeted with as follows:

rt @JohnPrescott Revealed – ‘The Tories’ REAL Housing Plan’: http://bit.ly/3JkRQp #TorysocialHosingFail

…erm, I think the #fail there is in the ReTweeter’s #hashtag ‘hosing’

Ok, that’s not John’s fault but as it was his Tweet so he’s having the blame just as he is on the next one, he ReTweeted his own message without a RT in the front to @HouseOfTwits at 1742 this afternoon. It appeared as such

New Video: Labour: @johnprescott on The Tories’ REAL Housing Plan’: http://www.houseoftwits.co.uk

Within a couple of minutes Parlez~me~’n~Tory fancied a laugh and so followed the link and was to be met with the epic failure shown below. Housing policy John? That’s right, Boris shows the way!

Click the photo for a larger version (it is a 300kb file to give you the full damn thing in all it’s glory, afterall JamesCousins may want to print it)

John Prescott #failure

John, GoForth and stick to the pies!

Oh dear, it seems months out of the limelight has done it for John Prescott and already Prezza’s getting fidgety.

Just 36 hours after the claims within Adam Boulton’s book that both Blair and Mandelson think #GoBro is a quitter Prezza feels the urge to come to his rescue. Can you imagine it?

Give me your chips or we'll have another 12 years!

Not known for his chivalry or litheness Prezza bounds up to No10 with his inglorious bulldog chewing a wasp persona and sets out to make a mockery of truth and reality in the democracy of this country.

When he rose to speak I can imagine the press laughing so loudly that Prezza must have thought the rumble was because he’d eaten an extra can of condensed milk with a tube of digestive biscuits and forgotten to visit the toilet* afterwards.

So what did the Former deputy PM say that was so derisable?

When referring to Gordon Brown, our dear PM Prezza described him as

global giant

…who

can win the next election

If that were the extent of the folly of his claims that would be enough for me but no, he went on to declare

[everybody] outside the UK believed Gordon Brown had turned this global economy round

Parlez~me~’n~Tory knows this is factual: When NewLabour came to power in 1997 they inherited an economy that would provide year upon year of market growth; he’s certainly turned that around!

Furthermore he declared Gordon Brown to be

the best man in the field for the job [and] could get global agreements on big issues

Even Labour has to admit that they have a better man for the job even if that man is Hattie Harman (God forbid).

Gordon Brown is still the guy who turned this global economy round, everybody credits him with that, except here in the UK

There are two fundamental issues we’re facing, climate change and global finance. Both require global agreement, he’s the best man in the field for the job

John, if you truly believe there are only two fundamental issues then you should go back to choosing between those two; milk or digestives!

These are global problems, you need global giants, not the pygmies I hear about

Oh dear, this statement is full of the rhetoric we always hear from Prezza ‘after the event’. He wouldn’t even be able to say the word pygmy at the despatch box.

On a lighter note, he did make me smile (apart from every time he stands in front of a camera) when he suggested that regarding the Lib Dems

It’s all yak before conferences: [Go home and prepare for government], I mean, we have that every year from them…At the end of the day they are not going to be the next government

He’s got a point

But then he goes and ruins it all by suggesting

I believe it will be a Labour government – and we’ll just listen to all the talk until the election

John, please, do yourself a favour and go home, be nice to Pauline (God knows she’s suffered enough with you) and live the rest of your life in solitude) which is where your ridiculous comments belong.

*footnote: It is believed that John Prescott’s medical condition regarding bulimia was resolved once he left office and had to start paying for his own food.

Honour, respect and gratitude. Just 3 words that sum up the community of the Wiltshire town of Wootton Bassett.

Wootton Bassett is a small town and I, like most, retired Forces personnel have been there at one time or another on our way in or out of RAF Lyneham. Unfortunately it is synonymous these days with Forces personnel leaving the RAF Base in a hearse.

For the past couple of years whenever a fallen hero has returned the streets have been lined with the community offering their thanks, their respect and their gratitude for the fallen and their family. It truly is an eye watering scene.

There has never been any official recognition of the wonderful work that is done by the community to show this respect with the Government preferring to just let others get on with it. In a very much if it ain’t ours we don’t need to care about it attitude.

All that may be set to change in the very near future.

Bill Thomas, a retired Naval Officer has written a letter to Her Majesty The Queen requesting that she consider bestowing a Royal prefix on the town and The Queen has responded.

Her Majesty has written to Bill with the following text

Her Majesty has taken careful note of your comments requesting official recognition for the village of Wootton Bassett in Wiltshire, in honour of the respect accorded to every fallen soldier, killed during their tour of duty in Afghanistan or Iraq, when their funeral cortege passes through the village from RAF Lyneham.

As a constitutional Sovereign, the Queen acts on the advice of her Ministers and I have, therefore, been instructed to send your letter to the Right Honourable Gordon Brown MP, Prime Minister, so that he may know of your approach to Her Majesty on this matter, and may consider the points you raise.

The route for the request is that it will first be discussed by Cabinet before [I believe] being moved to the House for a final decision.

Gordon: DO NOT balls this one up. This is your one chance to slightly redeem yourself for all the lies, the smears, the anti-briefings, the ineptitude. Your one chance to do the right thing.

The world will be watching.

Let’s face it, aside from the economy you raped you will be remembered for precious little else.

Today was a bad day on so many levels for so many people.

Firstly, for the smear campaign Damian McBride was served with court papers by Guido on behalf of Nadine Dorries whilst at the same time McBride’s cohort Derek Draper was served with similar papers by ToryBear.

Depending on your Political slant this could be a good day or bad day but I am guessing that as you are over here, reading this then it’s a good day for you, that is, unless you are a sycophantic narcissistic Tweeter who goes by the name of @BevaniteEllie.

Does the name seem familiar? Well, back at the beginning of August we featured the little lady and her servile tongue when we debated What happens when Tories and Labour discuss the NHS.

Back then as now ‘lil ol Ellie was as blind to the truth as ever, it seems some things never change.

As luck would have it today was also a VERY bad day for Ellie, poor lass.

Seemingly she got on the wrong side of Working Class Tory a point at which I challenged her with debate but she simply chose to ignore.

Incidentally the Working Class Tory post was also discussing the Draper/McBride incident of this morning so this gave me good reason to address a very simple question to the dear @BevaniteEllie.

Expecting some form of blocking tactic I was prepared to do a Jeremy Paxman and ask the question, again and again and again and again.

I was not, however, prepared for what follows.

What follows is the exact account of the conversation, no misquoting, no dishonesty, no lies. I leave it you at the end to make your own mind up. Don’t forget on Twitter you only get 140 characters or less to pass your message. Where you see this [@Parlez_me_nTory] at the start of a line that indicates who is making the statement, so, for instance I open the conversation.

[@Parlez_me_nTory] @BevaniteEllie Simple question: Do you condone the smear e-mails organised by McBride/Draper?

[@BevaniteEllie] @Parlez_me_nTory Simple question: Do you condone the smear e-mails organised by McBride/Draper? simple answer. Yes.

[@Parlez_me_nTory] Speaks volumes! @BevaniteEllie Simple question: Do you condone the smear e-mails organised by McBride/Draper? simple answer. Yes.

There was some sort of retraction posted at this point which included the #mefail hashtag but this has since been deleted and cannot be located. If you wish to supply this retraction Ellie then I am more than happy to include it within this post but of course you would need to include the other 3 Tweets that you have retracted to make it a fully balanced and fair inclusion.

Before we digress too far…

[@Haylon101] @Parlez_me_nTory I believe @BevaniteEllie has just issued a U-turn. Gordon would be proud.

[@Parlez_me_nTory] RT @Parlez_me_nTory: Speaks volumes! @BevaniteEllie Simple question: Do you condone smear e-mails by McBride/Draper? simple answer. Yes.

[@BevaniteEllie] @Parlez_me_nTory was reading another question & was distracted.Of course I don’t.I blogged about it. We can beat u on policy,no need 4 smear

Another example of a BevaniteEllie Tweet, no substance, no evidence pure rash statement which is the reason several of the words above have been used to specifically describe the dear ‘lil lady.

[@Parlez_me_nTory] @BevaniteEllie Then why smear dear girl, why smear?

[@Parlez_me_nTory] RT @haylon101: @Parlez_me_nTory I believe @BevaniteEllie has just issued a U-turn. Gordon would be proud. Perfect

[@sonofmuff] @haylon101 @Parlez_me_nTory. NB. @BevaniteEllie says Polly Tonybee’s columns make her cry. ’nuff said me thinks.

[@wicksie] RT @Parlez_me_nTory: Speaks volumes! @BevaniteEllie Simple question: Do you condone smear e-mails by McBride/Draper? simple answer. Yes.

[@BevaniteEllie] @wicksie stop RTing yourself, and stop RTing something I’ve already said I didn’t mean.

[@wicksie] @BevaniteEllie Surely you would be better served to ask politely instead of issuing commands. Now, shall we try asking again?

I was more than ready at this stage to abandon this blog post and RT any retraction that Ellie had posted subject to it being found but she chose to ignore me once more, hence I have gone to the trouble to write this.

Several hours later…

[@wicksie] @BevaniteEllie You have deleted your Tweets that condone McBride/Draper email smears but we have them saved and will blog them

[@BevaniteEllie] @Parlez_me_nTory u really need to get a life.Didn’t condone them at all,as I said 3 seconds later.Careful u don’t get into smeary waters now

Erm, sorry dearest Ellie but yes, you did condone them as the evidence shows above, you may have retracted them approximately 1 minute later but you have (as I have already mentioned) deleted that Tweet along with 3 others, so where’s the proof?

Now, that may be suitable for your aspirations to run a Government by supplying ‘part’ information, perhaps you have taken Gordon’s black pen redaction too literally of late. Either way, you made the statement at least have the courage to stand by your convictions and do the right thing.

[@Parlez_me_nTory] @BevaniteEllie Unfortunately you have deleted any retraction, can’t find it!

One more thing before I leave you all and that is a separate small conversation between 2 other Tweeters re:@BevaniteEllie that sums up the above in 140 characters or less

[@Haylon101] I’m considering following @BevaniteEllie just for the comedy. But is it worth the batfuck insane fanaticism? Hmmmmmm descisions…

[@MarkReckons] @haylon101 I wouldn’t bother. I got dragged into something today that I thought was a debate but was a complete waste of time.

[@Haylon101] @MarkReckons Cheers for the heads up! I have noticed that she doesn’t seem capable of debate like a normal sane person.

Oh, dearest Ellie, I know you are reading this. Need I say more?

Edited to include two posts whereby Ellie and her ‘friend’ feel they have had to defend themselves.
Part1 and Part2.

Now then, that makes a Tory blogger a damn sight fairer than a socialist blogger!