Parlez~me~'n~Tory

Rightly Wry, Satirically RIGHT

This morning on Twitter I asked the question “what does it mean to be a blogger”.

I received an amazing array of responses including “bringer of justice” – “open access” – “holder of integrity” – “freedom to intrude” – “to be corrosive”.

For myself, I was under the impression that to be a blogger it was about honesty and fairness, to rise above the gutter that the mainstream media inhabits so often.

I care not if you are reading this and thinking I am only writing this because William Hague is a Conservative, you’re wrong. This would have been written whoever the public figure was and my recent stance on Twitter would’ve remained the same that what Paul Staines has done has brought a bad stench on the world in which we bloggers inhabit.

I know not why Guido decided to go after Mr Hague and/or Mr Myers in such a fashion. I have shared my suspicion a number of times on Twitter and shall do so again in the next sentence.

I personally believe that Paul Staines was given a tip off from a past victim of his who is trying to ingratiate themselves with Guido. That tip off may have only been that the room was shared and an over eager imagination set to work.

I know not why I feel so strongly about this but perhaps it has something to do with the world that I feel so strongly about, the one with honesty and fairness has been badly sullied due to the actions of a once great activist.

I don’t have an issue with the premise of what Guido has done but I do have a major issue with the way in which he undertook his work, it is reminiscent of the gutter press at its very worst.

Perhaps he is obliged because he has column inches to fill, perhaps he is obliged because of the expectation that weighs on his shoulders, perhaps he’s stepped over the line of what it means to be a blogger?

Here’s a very quick thought.

Labour could yet come out of this whole fiasco smelling of roses and still save Britain!

If Labour refuse to do a pact with the Liberal Democrats at the same time as the Conservatives refuse to do a pact with them this will put Nick The Arrogant squarely back in his place having missed the only boat they will ever be offered.

Labour have already set the ball rolling to replace their leader, if they allow a Conservative minority Government and assist by voting the Queen’s speech through they can, [almost] legitimately stand for Election in 10 months time on a mandate of CHANGE and FRESH FOCUS.

I personally think if that were the case the Conservatives would still be returned with a working majority and I am ready for that challenge.

Can we count on the Labour Party doing the right thing for the country?

After 13 years in Opposition there are few who wish to see a Conservative Government more than I at this moment. It has been a long and often lonely platform from which to fight back but last Thursday, we did just that, we fought back to not just a level playing field but to a position of advancement within the number of seats.

Yes, the Conservative Party gained a majority but not a working overall majority. There are polls and arguments going on in every Party at every level as to why each Party failed to do better, this should be apparent more in the Lib Dems than any other Party but it is not, at least not just yet.

Labour claim they want AV but only because it favours them. Lib Dems claim they want PR but only because it favours them. We, are content with FPTP but it does not favour us, if we change boundaries and make each constituency the same size then that will favour us. but, we are where we are and it is sadly FPTP that got us in this position.

Now then, the Lib Dems had a crap night on Thursday there are no two ways about it but they had a great morning on Friday because it allows them to hide their dreadful performance at #ge10.

It is now the Lib Dems who hold the card, not much of one but just enough to determine who may or who may not lead the next Government. But all of a sudden Nick Clegg has become rather arrogant.

He is almost holding the British electorate to ransom, pretending to scrutinise what is on offer from both the Conservatives and Labour Parties. He talks of a deal in the coming days, he talks of needing further details yet he talks of doing what is right for the nation.

I want a Conservative Government but I don’t want the David Cameron to sell the Party down the line and I don’t believe he will. What I don’t want is some arrogant jumped up two-bit player getting off telling journalists, MP’s and the electorate that he is taking his time.

Nick, either step up to the mantel, make that statement and right now I don’t care if you go Lab/Lib or Con/Lib, I want a Conservative Government but I don’t want one so badly as to have to bow to you.

Sit down. Put the gramophone on. Select the Moody Blues:

We,ve already said
Goodbye
Since you gotta go, oh you’d better
Go now go now, go now (Go now)
Before you see me cry
I don’t want you to tell me just what you intend to do now
‘Cause how many times do I have to tell you darlin’, darlin’
I’m still in love with you now
Whoa-oh-oh-oh

We’ve already said
So long
I don’t wanna see you go, oh you’d better
Go now go now, go now (Go now)
Don’t you even try
Tellin’ me that you really don’t want it to end this way
‘Cause darlin’, darlin’, can’t you see I want you to stay
Yeah, yeah

Since you gotta go, oh you’d better
Go now go now, go now (Go now)
Before you see me cry
I don’t want you to tell me just what you intend to do now
‘Cause how many times do I have to tell you darlin’, darlin’
I’m still in love still in love with you now
Whoa-oh-oh-oh
I don’t wanna see you go but darlin’, you better go now

Brown offers PR with an open hand.

Dave offers a comprehensive package offering Nick the chance to get many of his policies on the agenda.

How will it pan out? In my mind Brown will seal the deal with Nick who cannot see through the lies and subterfuge. Brown and Clegg will seal a deal, stitch up the Conservative Party and the final sweetener will be Brown to stand down with D Miliband to takeover as PM.

Britiain then faces another 5 years of an unelected leader of the ruling party and a decidedly dodgy Government that will only be challenged when the truth of how bad the books are in about 3 years time.

I fear it will be a sad day and the man who deserves to be PM may never get there.

Parlez_me_nTory is not in the least bit tempted to caption this image DANCE BITCH!

The UK Government is now officially set to sell their shares in Northern Rock without any obligation to any previous shareholder.

The unfair rules given to the “Independent” valuer by the UK Government ensured that the result would always be as appears below. Now Alistair Darling is set to sell shares at a massively inflated price to the gullible British Public whom it stole them from in the first place.

NORTHERN ROCK – Important Information

Further to our previous communication of 15th December 2009, we write to inform you that in accordance with the Northern Rock PLC Compensation Scheme Order 2008, the Independent Valuer, Andrew Caldwell, has determined that as at the Valuation Date, 22nd February 2008, Northern Rock PLC Ordinary shares had no value.

Accordingly, the Independent Valuer has determined that the amount of compensation payable by the Treasury to former Northern Rock PLC shareholders is Nil.

Important Information & Other Key Dates:

The Independent Valuer announced on 29th March 2010, that having carefully considered written representations following his Consultation Document he had prepared another document, the Final Document, which can be viewed in its entirety on the Independent Valuer’s website at www.northernrockvaluer.org.uk.

For reasons set out in the Final Document, none of the representations made have caused the Independent Valuer to change his proposed approach to the valuation or his provisional views on the amount of any compensation payable by the Treasury.

Having applied the Valuation assumptions the Independent Valuer has determined that at the end of the assumed administration there would be a net deficit of approximately GBP5.68 billion. There would therefore be no surplus at the end of the assumed administration for distribution to shareholders.

Accordingly, for the reasons set out in the Final Document, the Independent Valuer has determined that the amount of compensation payable by the Treasury to former shareholders or those whose rights to receive shares have been extinguished is nil.

Should you wish to seek reconsideration of the Independent Valuer’s assessment, requests for reconsideration can be submitted in writing to Andrew Caldwell, c/o BDO LLP, 55 Baker Street, London, W1U 7EU or alternatively by e-mail to northern.rock@bdo.co.uk, noting your postal address, no later than 4th May 2010. Please note as a nominee company we are unable to submit comments on your behalf.

We will notify you in due course upon receipt of any further information from the Independent Valuer.

Is this how you aim to halve the deficit Labour?

Pardon me for saying so but I smell a rat.

Not your average Westminster rat that can oft be found amongst the rubble of the Palace of Westminster but an altogether dirtier and larger rat, and it’s coming to a briefing near you very soon.

Now that we have moved on from the botched coup whereby it has since been disclosed that Harriet Harman was the Cabinet Minister who failed to come out in support of the Snow Plot we see the rise in electioneering hitting new heights.

So what’s the latest on when we will be offered the chance to vote out this weak and ineffectual Government? Well, if you’ve been listening this week you will know that it is May 6th without a shadow of a doubt.

Well, hang on, let’s just take a moment to ponder that shall we? What proof do we have?

Thus far we have only two dodgy claims that May 6th will be #GE10.

The first whereby Chris Bryant ‘claims’ to know the date and uttered it quite clearly in front of a diplomatic think-tank.

Why would he? Not for any other reason than because he knew it would be reported with gusto. [I smell that rat feeding hard and fast on Mandelson prime cuts of propaganda]

The seed had been sewn and so the media were on the look out for a second faux pas. Guess what? They didn’t have to wait long when today Andy Burnham attempted to ‘accidentally’ suggest the date would be May. Again, why?

This all smacks of a smokescreen to me to put the Opposition on the back foot to take the foot off the gas pedal and one that I may be on my own supporting but hey ho, that’s what it’s like sometimes. You have to go with your gut feeling. Much the same as I did with the TV debates that I still feel will fail to materialise.

What other factors could prevent Gordon Brown from calling May 6th as #GE10?

Firstly May 6th is Tony Blair’s birthday and that alone is enough to deter #GoBro

Here are a few other issues that took place on May 6th that may make Gordon think twice with the hand of history on our shoulders:

1527 – Spanish and German troops sack Rome; some consider this the end of the Renaissance. 147 Swiss Guards, including their commander, die fighting the forces of Charles V in order to allow Pope Clement VII to escape into Castel Sant’Angelo.

1536 – King Henry VIII orders English language Bibles be placed in every church.

1542 – Francis Xavier reaches Old Goa, the capital of Portuguese India at the time.

1682 – Louis XIV of France moves his court to Versailles.

1757 – Battle of Prague – A Prussian army fights an Austrian army in Prague during the Seven Years’ War.

1816 – The American Bible Society is founded in New York City.

1835 – James Gordon Bennett, Sr. publishes the first issue of the New York Herald.

1840 – The Penny Black postage stamp becomes valid for use in the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland.

1857 – The British East India Company disbands the 34th Regiment of Bengal Native Infantry whose sepoy Mangal Pandey had earlier revolted against the British and is considered to be the First Martyr in the War of India’s Independence.

1860 – Giuseppe Garibaldi’s Mille expedition sets sail from Genoa to the Kingdom of the Two Sicilies.

1861 – American Civil War: Arkansas secedes from the Union.

1861 – American Civil War: Richmond, Virginia is declared the new capital of the Confederate States of America.

1863 – American Civil War: The Battle of Chancellorsville ends with the defeat of the Army of the Potomac by Confederate troops.

1877 – Chief Crazy Horse of the Oglala Sioux surrenders to United States troops in Nebraska.

1882 – Thomas Henry Burke and Lord Frederick Cavendish are stabbed and killed during the Phoenix Park Murders in Dublin.

1882 – The United States Congress passes the Chinese Exclusion Act.

1889 – The Eiffel Tower is officially opened to the public at the Universal Exposition in Paris.

1910 – George V becomes King of the United Kingdom upon the death of his father, Edward VII.

1935 – New Deal: Executive Order 7034 creates the Works Progress Administration.

1935 – The first flight of the Curtiss P-36 Hawk.

1937 – Hindenburg disaster: The German zeppelin Hindenburg catches fire and is destroyed within a minute while attempting to dock at Lakehurst, New Jersey. Thirty-six people are killed.

1940 – John Steinbeck is awarded the Pulitzer Prize for his novel The Grapes of Wrath.

1941 – At California’s March Field, Bob Hope performs his first USO show.

1941 – The first flight of the Republic P-47 Thunderbolt.

1942 – World War II: On Corregidor, the last American forces in the Philippines surrender to the Japanese.

1945 – World War II: Axis Sally delivers her last propaganda broadcast to Allied troops (first was on December 11, 1941).

1945 – World War II: The Prague Offensive, the last major battle of the Eastern Front, begins.

1954 – Roger Bannister becomes the first person to run the mile in under four minutes.

1960 – More than 20 million viewers watch the first televised royal wedding when Princess Margaret marries Anthony Armstrong-Jones at Westminster Abbey.

1962 – St. Martín de Porres is canonized by Pope John XXIII.

1966 – Myra Hindley and Ian Brady are sentenced to life imprisonment for the Moors Murders in England.

1967 – B52 Bombers dropped tons of explosives on North Vietnamese bunkers and troop positions

1972 – Deniz Gezmiş, Yusuf Aslan and Hüseyin İnan are executed in Ankara for attempting to overthrow the Constitutional order.

1976 – An earthquake strikes Friuli, causing 989 deaths and the destruction of entire villages.

1981 – A jury of architects and sculptors unanimously selects Maya Ying Lin’s design for the Vietnam Veterans Memorial from 1,421 other entries.

1983 – The Hitler diaries are revealed as a hoax after examination by experts.

1984 – 103 Korean Martyrs are canonized by Pope John Paul II in Seoul

1988 – An airplane flying from Namsos to Brønnøysund in Norway crashes into the side of the Torghatten mountain, killing all 36 passengers and crew.

1989 – Cedar Point opens Magnum XL-200, the first roller coaster to break the 200 ft height barrier, therefore spawning what is considered to be the coaster wars.

1994 – Queen Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom and French President François Mitterrand officiate at the opening of the Channel Tunnel.

1994 – Former Arkansas state worker Paula Jones files suit against President Bill Clinton, alleging that he had sexually harassed her in 1991.

1996 – The body of former CIA director William Colby is found washed up on a riverbank in southern Maryland, eight days after he disappeared.

1997 – The Bank of England is given independence from political control, the most significant change in the bank’s 300-year history.

1998 – Kerry Wood strikes out 20 Houston Astros to tie the major league record held by Roger Clemens. He threw a one-hitter and did not walk a batter in his 5th career start.

1999 – First elections to the devolved Scottish Parliament and Welsh Assembly held.

2001 – During a trip to Syria, Pope John Paul II becomes the first pope to enter a mosque.

2002 – Dutch politician Pim Fortuyn is assassinated by an animal rights activist.

2008 – Chaiten Volcano erupts in Chile, forcing the evacuation of more than 4,500 people.

Think long and hard Gordon, there’s some pretty gory scenes up there for May 6th; care to add to them?