Parlez~me~'n~Tory
Rightly wry, satirically right

Posts Tagged ‘Press’

Election what election?

Wed ,13/01/2010

Pardon me for saying so but I smell a rat.

Not your average Westminster rat that can oft be found amongst the rubble of the Palace of Westminster but an altogether dirtier and larger rat, and it’s coming to a briefing near you very soon.

Now that we have moved on from the botched coup whereby it has since been disclosed that Harriet Harman was the Cabinet Minister who failed to come out in support of the Snow Plot we see the rise in electioneering hitting new heights.

So what’s the latest on when we will be offered the chance to vote out this weak and ineffectual Government? Well, if you’ve been listening this week you will know that it is May 6th without a shadow of a doubt.

Well, hang on, let’s just take a moment to ponder that shall we? What proof do we have?

Thus far we have only two dodgy claims that May 6th will be #GE10.

The first whereby Chris Bryant ‘claims’ to know the date and uttered it quite clearly in front of a diplomatic think-tank.

Why would he? Not for any other reason than because he knew it would be reported with gusto. [I smell that rat feeding hard and fast on Mandelson prime cuts of propaganda]

The seed had been sewn and so the media were on the look out for a second faux pas. Guess what? They didn’t have to wait long when today Andy Burnham attempted to ‘accidentally’ suggest the date would be May. Again, why?

This all smacks of a smokescreen to me to put the Opposition on the back foot to take the foot off the gas pedal and one that I may be on my own supporting but hey ho, that’s what it’s like sometimes. You have to go with your gut feeling. Much the same as I did with the TV debates that I still feel will fail to materialise.

What other factors could prevent Gordon Brown from calling May 6th as #GE10?

Firstly May 6th is Tony Blair’s birthday and that alone is enough to deter #GoBro

Here are a few other issues that took place on May 6th that may make Gordon think twice with the hand of history on our shoulders:

    1527 – Spanish and German troops sack Rome; some consider this the end of the Renaissance. 147 Swiss Guards, including their commander, die fighting the forces of Charles V in order to allow Pope Clement VII to escape into Castel Sant’Angelo.

    1536 – King Henry VIII orders English language Bibles be placed in every church.

    1542 – Francis Xavier reaches Old Goa, the capital of Portuguese India at the time.

    1682 – Louis XIV of France moves his court to Versailles.

    1757 – Battle of Prague – A Prussian army fights an Austrian army in Prague during the Seven Years’ War.

    1816 – The American Bible Society is founded in New York City.

    1835 – James Gordon Bennett, Sr. publishes the first issue of the New York Herald.

    1840 – The Penny Black postage stamp becomes valid for use in the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland.

    1857 – The British East India Company disbands the 34th Regiment of Bengal Native Infantry whose sepoy Mangal Pandey had earlier revolted against the British and is considered to be the First Martyr in the War of India’s Independence.

    1860 – Giuseppe Garibaldi’s Mille expedition sets sail from Genoa to the Kingdom of the Two Sicilies.

    1861 – American Civil War: Arkansas secedes from the Union.

    1861 – American Civil War: Richmond, Virginia is declared the new capital of the Confederate States of America.

    1863 – American Civil War: The Battle of Chancellorsville ends with the defeat of the Army of the Potomac by Confederate troops.

    1877 – Chief Crazy Horse of the Oglala Sioux surrenders to United States troops in Nebraska.

    1882 – Thomas Henry Burke and Lord Frederick Cavendish are stabbed and killed during the Phoenix Park Murders in Dublin.

    1882 – The United States Congress passes the Chinese Exclusion Act.

    1889 – The Eiffel Tower is officially opened to the public at the Universal Exposition in Paris.

    1910 – George V becomes King of the United Kingdom upon the death of his father, Edward VII.

    1935 – New Deal: Executive Order 7034 creates the Works Progress Administration.

    1935 – The first flight of the Curtiss P-36 Hawk.

    1937 – Hindenburg disaster: The German zeppelin Hindenburg catches fire and is destroyed within a minute while attempting to dock at Lakehurst, New Jersey. Thirty-six people are killed.

    1940 – John Steinbeck is awarded the Pulitzer Prize for his novel The Grapes of Wrath.

    1941 – At California’s March Field, Bob Hope performs his first USO show.

    1941 – The first flight of the Republic P-47 Thunderbolt.

    1942 – World War II: On Corregidor, the last American forces in the Philippines surrender to the Japanese.

    1945 – World War II: Axis Sally delivers her last propaganda broadcast to Allied troops (first was on December 11, 1941).

    1945 – World War II: The Prague Offensive, the last major battle of the Eastern Front, begins.

    1954 – Roger Bannister becomes the first person to run the mile in under four minutes.

    1960 – More than 20 million viewers watch the first televised royal wedding when Princess Margaret marries Anthony Armstrong-Jones at Westminster Abbey.

    1962 – St. Martín de Porres is canonized by Pope John XXIII.

    1966 – Myra Hindley and Ian Brady are sentenced to life imprisonment for the Moors Murders in England.

    1967 – B52 Bombers dropped tons of explosives on North Vietnamese bunkers and troop positions

    1972 – Deniz Gezmiş, Yusuf Aslan and Hüseyin İnan are executed in Ankara for attempting to overthrow the Constitutional order.

    1976 – An earthquake strikes Friuli, causing 989 deaths and the destruction of entire villages.

    1981 – A jury of architects and sculptors unanimously selects Maya Ying Lin’s design for the Vietnam Veterans Memorial from 1,421 other entries.

    1983 – The Hitler diaries are revealed as a hoax after examination by experts.

    1984 – 103 Korean Martyrs are canonized by Pope John Paul II in Seoul

    1988 – An airplane flying from Namsos to Brønnøysund in Norway crashes into the side of the Torghatten mountain, killing all 36 passengers and crew.

    1989 – Cedar Point opens Magnum XL-200, the first roller coaster to break the 200 ft height barrier, therefore spawning what is considered to be the coaster wars.

    1994 – Queen Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom and French President François Mitterrand officiate at the opening of the Channel Tunnel.

    1994 – Former Arkansas state worker Paula Jones files suit against President Bill Clinton, alleging that he had sexually harassed her in 1991.

    1996 – The body of former CIA director William Colby is found washed up on a riverbank in southern Maryland, eight days after he disappeared.

    1997 – The Bank of England is given independence from political control, the most significant change in the bank’s 300-year history.

    1998 – Kerry Wood strikes out 20 Houston Astros to tie the major league record held by Roger Clemens. He threw a one-hitter and did not walk a batter in his 5th career start.

    1999 – First elections to the devolved Scottish Parliament and Welsh Assembly held.

    2001 – During a trip to Syria, Pope John Paul II becomes the first pope to enter a mosque.

    2002 – Dutch politician Pim Fortuyn is assassinated by an animal rights activist.

    2008 – Chaiten Volcano erupts in Chile, forcing the evacuation of more than 4,500 people.

Think long and hard Gordon, there’s some pretty gory scenes up there for May 6th; care to add to them?

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Would you vote for anyone other than Gordon Brown?

Sun ,03/01/2010

The election campaign is already starting to get heated. Yes, those in the frame for Leader of the Labour Party are really stepping up a gear.

We all know it is General Election year #GE10 and the most likely date is 6th May, following a Budget full of empty promises of investment, prosperity and pay later schemes. But there is currently an election looming far sooner and far more meaningful for the Labour Party and potentially the country.

It is clearly understood that any leader of the Labour Party other than Gordon Brown following a coup would be able to narrow the Poll gap between themselves and the Conservative Party as the incumbent would inevitably enjoy the honeymoon period and the ‘bounce’ that goes with a personality change.

For months it was assumed that 26th March would be #GE10 thereby allowing the Government to avoid announcing any form of Budget but that would simply not allow enough time for the new leader to make the role his/her own.

Following a pre-Christmas party hosted by Charles Clarke the former Home Secretary and one of the most vocal anti-Brown campaigners it seems one output was to brief a series of coordinated press releases slamming the leadership of Gordon Brown and stating how better off the party and the country would be without him at the helm.

Briefings: Charles Clarke, Barry Sheerman, Greg Pope, Polly Toynbee

…the list of those present includes Parmjit Dhanda, Malcolm Wicks and Meg Munn

So then, who is the in the driving seat and who is set to star in the shake-up of the Labour party?

Or, are we to face yet another failed coup from a bunch of snipers who haven’t got the courage to do anything other than moan about how bad a Conservative Government would be for Britain?

We already know that Harriet Harman is to head up Gordon Brown and the PLP’s #GE10 campaign which sidelines Lord Mandelson (a very risky strategy indeed), but was this appointment simply to the *Fearless Five striking first?

*Fearless Five are a group of rebels led by Jack Straw, the others are Deputy Labour leader Harriet Harman, Chancellor Alistair Darling, Foreign Secretary David Miliband and Home Secretary Alan Johnson.

One also has to wonder how much Sarah Brown will be used throughout #GE10 as already she has persuaded an ex-colleague from the PR field, Helen Scott Lidgett to join her in the depths of the bunker.

Today, Gordon Brown will give a speech that will be full of empty promises and scorn on the Tories but will it be enough to stave the assassins from his door?

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David Heath MP, here’s what the Telegraph didn’t print – please answer

Wed ,18/11/2009

Living in Frome, Somerset it upsets me that not only do we have a Liberal Democrat as our MP (David Heath) but the so called ‘FREE Press’, isn’t.

Several times I have had letters rebuffed by the local press and the latest was just a few days ago. I also sent the letter to the Daily Telegraph hoping that they would have the decency to print it, alas, they did not.

[...it has been suggested by Phil Woodford [a fellow Twitterer and an all round good egg] that perhaps I should have signed it Lt Col (rtd) to secure publication…considering putting it on my next one!]

As a consequence I have decided to print it below:

    Dear Sir,

    Last week the final barrier to the full ratification of the EU’s Lisbon Treaty was overcome and on the First day of December it will be entered into law in all 27 member countries.

    Despite all three main political parties promising the nation a referendum at the 2005 election we have not been given the opportunity to vote on this renamed constitution.

    In 2007, following a local referendum in this highly marginal seat of Somerton and Frome over 90% of people who exercised the right to vote gave a clear ‘NO’ to the constitution. In essence, more people voted in favour of a referendum than for David Heath to be our representative, which in turn forced our MP to vote with the Conservatives in Parliament in support of a plebiscite.

    Now that the Treaty has been ratified (albeit by consequential means), I wonder if he still believes we should have a referendum on it, or whether his vote was simply gesture politics and he has since retreated to the default Liberal Democrat position of just having an “in or out” referendum – which they hope will result in a win for the euro-fanatics?

    If we are to see a repatriation of powers to our democratically elected Parliament rather than being dictated to from Brussels, we must have a strong government that is willing to fight for our country, as David Cameron made clear last week he would do should he win the General Election.

    Ultimately, the question begs, will David Heath resign again in order to support our country?

    Yours faithfully

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Queen’s speech (unfortunately hijacked by the PLP)

Wed ,18/11/2009

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Lord Adonis dances to the melodic tones of classic(al) Mandelson

Wed ,18/11/2009

Today is the Queen’s Speech. Quite possibly the most newsworthy item of the day but I sincerely doubt it.

Many tomes will be written today and in the future about the cynical content of the speech and how it is in effect a pre-manifesto manifesto so I don’t for one minute propose to add to that weight of words.

Instead, I propose to discuss something I feel is far more newsworthy today as I believe it ’slipped’ under the radar yesterday in the furore of an investment announcement.

Yesterday, Lord Adonis announced that the 10 worst railway stations in England would each get to share £50m. That much we already know.

Fair enough, in the past I have been ‘quietly impressed’ with Lord Adonis and his apparent concern for doing the right thing by the railways but somehow, this just doesn’t sit comfortably with Parlez~me~’n~Tory.

How does Lord Adonis suddenly (1 day prior to a huge swathe of announcements within the Queen’s Speech) decide which stations are to be in his remit for this investment proposal?

What criteria was used for determining the worst stations in the country? Was this a consultative process? If so, with whom and when?

Personally, I believe that the only consultation (external to rail management) was between members of the Cabinet and only very senior members at that.

It is the belief of Parlez~me~’n~Tory that the criteria used was based purely on the best possible chance of a positive return at the General Election. Shall I put that statement into perspective?

Let’s take a look at the stations that are set to benefit and who controls the community. The 2nd line of each entry indicates: MP (Constituency/Benefitting area, Party) Majority (Year entered Parliament):

Station: Barking

    Margaret Hodge (Barking, Lab) 8,883 (1994)

Station: Clapham Junction

    Martin Linton (Battersea, Lab) 163 (1997)

Station: Crewe

    Edward Timpson (Crewe & Nantwich, Con) 7,860 (2008)

Station: Liverpool Central

    Maria Eagle (Liverpool, Garston, Lab) 7,193 (1997)
    Louise Ellman (Liverpool, Riverside, Lab) 10,214 (1997)
    Peter Kilfoyle (Liverpool, Walton, Lab) 15,957 (1991)
    Jane Kennedy (Liverpool, Wavertree, Lab) 5,173 (1992)
    Robert Wareing (Liverpool, West Derby, Ind) 15,225 (1983)

Station: Luton

    Kelvin Hopkins (Luton North, Lab) 6,487 (1997)
    Margaret Moran (Luton South, Lab) 5,650 (1997)

Station: Manchester Victoria

    Tony Lloyd (Manchester Central, Lab) 9,776 (1983)
    Graham Stringer (Manchester, Blackley, Lab) 12,027
    Gerald Kaufman (Manchester, Gorton, Lab) 5,808 (1970)
    John Leech (Manchester, Withington, Ldem) 667 votes (2005)

Station: Preston

    Mark Hendrick (Preston, Lab) 9,407 (2000)

Station: Stockport

    Ann Coffey (Stockport, Lab) 9,163 (1992)

Station: Warrington Bank Quay

    Helen Jones (Warrington North, Lab) 12,204 (1997)
    Helen Southworth (Warrington South, Lab) 3,515 (1997)

Station: Wigan North Weston

    Neil Turner (Wigan, Lab) 11,767 (1999)

Do you notice a pattern developing?

It is rather obvious that apart from a token Conservative, Liberal Democrat and Independent the rest are Labour; not exactly with the strongest majorities either.

So, we have many Government ministers that were already set to enter the General Election campaign on very shaky ground who can now point to a huge cash investment in their region as evidence of what the Labour Government can and will do for their community. [It would be very interesting to do some analysis on what the breakdown of each local council is for these regions]…anyone wish to do that work?

Expect countless cries of ‘you wouldn’t get this under a Tory Government’ most notably in the voice of John Prescott to ram home hard the ‘working class’ Labour perception.

With the strategic position of the vast majority of these seats, [don't think for one minute they weren't chosen without that in mind] this investment turns out to be not quite what you thought it was yesterday and with the Queen’s speech today this will be all but lost in the noise. This cannot be allowed to happen.

MP’s from all sides, lobbyists and the blogosphere must leap on this and challenge Lord Adonis for the truth behind his rationale.

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First day of big school for MP’s

Mon ,12/10/2009

Following the Conference season during the past couple of weeks which was towards the end of the prolonged summer recess today is the day where our beloved MP’s make their way back for the first day of term.

In case you’ve forgotten, 17th July 2009 was the last day in the office and since then it’s just been fun all the way!

We’ve had Nick Clegg pleading like a spoilt child I want to be Prime Minister, we’ve had the leader of this once great nation admit that the Tories were right all along and that there will be cu*ts, lots of them and we shouldn’t trust the Tories because their cuts will be the horrible kind, and we’ve had David Cameron and George Osborne stand up and tell it like it is and watched them be lambasted for their honesty in the Left leaning press.

It’s also been a time of TWATS and CHUMPS!

Ah, yes, we also had this great BULLSHIT ALERT from Gordon Brown (#GoBro) himself.

How fitting then that today that the rank and file MP’s who’ve covered themselves in such glory during this recess have to return to more investigative research into their expenses, let’s see just how much the Prime Minister HAS to PAY BACK.

It’s great to be back!

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The SUN: the leaked video evidence

Sat ,03/10/2009

Following the recent jumping of ship by The SUN over to the Conservatives a behind the scenes video from within Brown’s bunker has been leaked to Parlez~me~’n~Tory by my man on the inside (Agent Roger).

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Get Involved with MyConservatives.com

Fri ,02/10/2009

Launched today MyConservatives.com

Eric Pickles says

    Take part in campaign activities and social action
    Donate directly to individual campaigns
    Ring voters from the comfort of your home
    Set up fundraising events with online ticketing

MyConservatives is open to anyone who wants to make a difference in their community and in our country.

I’ve registered, why don’t you?

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