Parlez~me~'n~Tory

Rightly wry, satirically right

Do you know what? Quite frankly I am pissed off.

Why such a state of affairs for myself?

Well, it is the cynicism and blindness with which Labour supporting Tweeters spend their entire waking day slating anyone and anything other than Gordon Brown and/or the Parliamentary Labour Party. That’s fine, I can handle that but what I cannot handle is their duplicity, their double standards and their utter inability to accept anything other than what is preached to them by the ruling criminal class.

This week I have had several attacks on me as a Twitter user calling me bigoted, a troll, an arse, a member of a fu**ing stupid party, the vast majority of these tweets have been accompanied by vile and slanderous hashtags such as #toryfail #toryduplicity #nastyparty #stillthenastyparty and #hypocricy.

Well, news for you, you fools. The hypocricy is yours and yours alone. You don’t seem to realise that to use defamatory hashtags is the very thing you claim to detest and that is the act of trolling.

In Internet slang, a troll is someone who posts inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum, chat room or blog, with the primary intent of provoking other users into an emotional response or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion

The reality is that this country is in a shit state (this is where the Labour tweeters will now complain and call me a troll again) and it is the ruling Labour party that have wasted every resource we have.

They have thrown us to the dogs so that they may cling on with their fingertrips and Gordon Brown has become so ineffectual we are now expected to accept that his decision to be interviewed so close to the election is a normal state of affairs…and before you slate me PLP I don’t have an issue with him crying or showing emotion, I would do the same, but I do have an issue with the PLP attempting to give him another makeover and gain from the public at this late stage without examining the reality of the bias that has been shown against ANY other Party.

Honestly, there are some lovely Labour tweeters out there but there are some extremely vile and angry people.

You wouldn’t think these are the ones who have had power for so long. If ruling the country makes them so angry we had better watch out when they are in Opposition. God only knows what it does to their blood pressure.

I like to follow a wide range of people and Political oriented activists on Twitter because it opens the channels for debate, that is real debate not phony slanging matches, but it amazes me how some people just cannot seem to understand there are many things wrong with this country and they refuse to believe that it isn’t all sweetness and fluffy bunny rabbits.

As the chase for #GE10 hots up I fully expect the vile comments and partisan crap to increase and each instance will be blogged on here. For too long I have kept quiet, found a way forward by being conciliatory and by attempting to debate a point with someone who just wishes to abuse someone, anyone with a view that doesn’t fit theirs.

From now on? The gloves are off.

Let’s load the barrels, let’s plot the course because we have a fight on our hands and there are many on the LEFT who insist on making it a bloody dirty fight.

Lord Tyker, the Liberal Democrat Peer seems to have been a little caught up with reality television.

It seems that the Peer cannot tell the difference between reality (something generally occurring around you that affects your life) and reality television (something that affects a few individuals who are stupid enough to get involved and millions outside who sit agog every week).

Lord Tyker has tabled a parliamentary question calling for the BBC to be transparent.

Sounds fair enough when labeled as such but when the truth outs it makes the Peer look remarkably silly, but Parlez~me~’n~Tory ask is this really a good use of our resources and money?

Perhaps it is because I watch so little television (I like it that way) that I have no idea who Ricky Whittle is but apparently he recently lost Strictly Come Dancing and has called for the BBC to disclose the voting figures for every week and round he was involved. Is he suggesting there is some wrongdoing?

Is that what Lord Tyker is suggesting by tabling this question? It would appear so in his comments

It’s completely ludicrous to claim that the Corporation shouldn’t make clear how well each couple did in the Strictly final.

The technology is there, so why the smoke and mirrors?

Surely if you ask the public to ring in, it’s in the public interest to know the full result.

The trouble is, Sir, we do know the full result, what you seem to want to know is what led to the full and final result, what influencing factors were there.

Well, guess what, a major influencing factor for Mr Whittle would be that he gained too few votes…something I fear will be happening across the South West of this country for your Party come the General Election.

It would seem a case of sour grapes plain and simple in that Mr Whittle has not been asked to attend the Strictly Come Dancing tour whilst others who lost before him have been invited.

Talking of the General Election Lord Tyker and don’t get me wrong as I respect and even like your voting record, it is admirable and echoes many of my own thoughts but why bring this up now?

Are you simply seeking to fill the void on a Saturday evening, are you genuinely concerned that the BBC is corrupt to the core or are you simply gesture politicking to raise awareness of the fact that there is a third ‘major’ Party in this country?

This delightful image was thrown my way by means of a fellow Twitterer (@YourMajesty).

Does it have a sell by date?

There are no further details available but Parlez~me~’n~Tory suspects it has a Best Before date of 25th March 2010.

There comes a time in your life when you have to stop what it is you are doing and reassess your life, your priorities and ultimately your goals.

In fact, I suspect there are many times that occur during our lives that require this reassessment but for the most part we just react and move on without giving a second thought. I have just had one of those moments, not the ones that go by without anyone barely noticing but the other kind, the life changing kind that requires input to steer the ship to safety.

After my rejection from CCHQ for candidacy I took serious stock of my life and my values and I came out the other with a self imposed hiatus on blogging for a week to allow my batteries to recharge and my family to take precedence; this was achieved.

Today I am back, I have a new purpose in my life and in my blog and we still have the same old goal, one of ensuring that David Cameron is the next Prime Minister that is voted in by the electorate of Great Britain.

We’ve already had a whiff of Labour’s upcoming General Election campaign over the past week with Harriet Harman spewing lies about how marriage is supported by the Conservatives and those utter ridiculous class claims by Gordon Brown.

So, as the Cabinet enters its final phase and the Government is in the death throws of its final breath Parlez~me~’n~Tory simply says – Let the games begin!

This is a very short post as I am about to examine the contents of a rather nice bottle of Shiraz.

In June David Cameron reopened the Parliamentary Candidates’ List and invited applications from all walks of life. I pondered whether I should apply for a few weeks and then took the plunge.

I was most impressed by the honesty and very generous praise given to me by my nominated referees in the process and sat back with a recommended date of hearing back in July.

July came and went. In August I e-mailed CCHQ and was told they would get back to me eventually. Today, was eventually…

The rejection letter is nice enough and pleasant in its tone and content making a few standard suggestions (all of which I already undertake or have researched and am in the process of undertaking) but the words

I am sorry to have to tell you, therefore, that we are not able to invite you to undertake further assessment at this time. We are, however, still very interested in you…

still hurt, so very much

Quite simply the previous paragraph tells a story of too many applicants for too few places on the remaining Parliamentary Assessment Boards.

What is the measure of a Conservative?

I believe it is to receive this rejection letter at 11AM and at 3PM hold a meeting with the regional chairman of the Association with regards to an even more active role for me within the Party to ensure we turn the South-West from orange to BLUE in a few months time.

Dave, I take rejection quite well, even from a bloke!

Today is the Queen’s Speech. Quite possibly the most newsworthy item of the day but I sincerely doubt it.

Many tomes will be written today and in the future about the cynical content of the speech and how it is in effect a pre-manifesto manifesto so I don’t for one minute propose to add to that weight of words.

Instead, I propose to discuss something I feel is far more newsworthy today as I believe it ’slipped’ under the radar yesterday in the furore of an investment announcement.

Yesterday, Lord Adonis announced that the 10 worst railway stations in England would each get to share £50m. That much we already know.

Fair enough, in the past I have been ‘quietly impressed’ with Lord Adonis and his apparent concern for doing the right thing by the railways but somehow, this just doesn’t sit comfortably with Parlez~me~’n~Tory.

How does Lord Adonis suddenly (1 day prior to a huge swathe of announcements within the Queen’s Speech) decide which stations are to be in his remit for this investment proposal?

What criteria was used for determining the worst stations in the country? Was this a consultative process? If so, with whom and when?

Personally, I believe that the only consultation (external to rail management) was between members of the Cabinet and only very senior members at that.

It is the belief of Parlez~me~’n~Tory that the criteria used was based purely on the best possible chance of a positive return at the General Election. Shall I put that statement into perspective?

Let’s take a look at the stations that are set to benefit and who controls the community. The 2nd line of each entry indicates: MP (Constituency/Benefitting area, Party) Majority (Year entered Parliament):

Station: Barking

Margaret Hodge (Barking, Lab) 8,883 (1994)

Station: Clapham Junction

Martin Linton (Battersea, Lab) 163 (1997)

Station: Crewe

Edward Timpson (Crewe & Nantwich, Con) 7,860 (2008)

Station: Liverpool Central

Maria Eagle (Liverpool, Garston, Lab) 7,193 (1997)
Louise Ellman (Liverpool, Riverside, Lab) 10,214 (1997)
Peter Kilfoyle (Liverpool, Walton, Lab) 15,957 (1991)
Jane Kennedy (Liverpool, Wavertree, Lab) 5,173 (1992)
Robert Wareing (Liverpool, West Derby, Ind) 15,225 (1983)

Station: Luton

Kelvin Hopkins (Luton North, Lab) 6,487 (1997)
Margaret Moran (Luton South, Lab) 5,650 (1997)

Station: Manchester Victoria

Tony Lloyd (Manchester Central, Lab) 9,776 (1983)
Graham Stringer (Manchester, Blackley, Lab) 12,027
Gerald Kaufman (Manchester, Gorton, Lab) 5,808 (1970)
John Leech (Manchester, Withington, Ldem) 667 votes (2005)

Station: Preston

Mark Hendrick (Preston, Lab) 9,407 (2000)

Station: Stockport

Ann Coffey (Stockport, Lab) 9,163 (1992)

Station: Warrington Bank Quay

Helen Jones (Warrington North, Lab) 12,204 (1997)
Helen Southworth (Warrington South, Lab) 3,515 (1997)

Station: Wigan North Weston

Neil Turner (Wigan, Lab) 11,767 (1999)

Do you notice a pattern developing?

It is rather obvious that apart from a token Conservative, Liberal Democrat and Independent the rest are Labour; not exactly with the strongest majorities either.

So, we have many Government ministers that were already set to enter the General Election campaign on very shaky ground who can now point to a huge cash investment in their region as evidence of what the Labour Government can and will do for their community. [It would be very interesting to do some analysis on what the breakdown of each local council is for these regions]…anyone wish to do that work?

Expect countless cries of ‘you wouldn’t get this under a Tory Government’ most notably in the voice of John Prescott to ram home hard the ‘working class’ Labour perception.

With the strategic position of the vast majority of these seats, [don't think for one minute they weren't chosen without that in mind] this investment turns out to be not quite what you thought it was yesterday and with the Queen’s speech today this will be all but lost in the noise. This cannot be allowed to happen.

MP’s from all sides, lobbyists and the blogosphere must leap on this and challenge Lord Adonis for the truth behind his rationale.

Message to Gordon Brown: You’re down, you’re out and I am pretty sure that you’re replacement (whichever fool that turns out to be) is very grateful that you are keeping their seat warm for now.

Following yesterday’s odd decision regarding the recent #againsttheodds campaign and the massive onslaught of derision it brought from anyone else other than Labourites and Socialists it is not surprising that once again Gordon has attempted to turn the attention away from another bad judgement that he has presided over.

It seems that the PM has nothing better to do for the next 48hrs than to sit around No10 Nokia in hand and call EU leaders in a final attempt to get old chummy Blair in the peach of a #1 slot.

There is some consternation that Tony Blair may get in by default as the ‘best of a bad bunch’ [doesn't say much, does it?] Currently Herman Van Rompuy the Belgian Prime Minister is the lead 2nd/3rd place by the majority of voters

The process is being co-ordinated by Swedish prime minister Fredrik Reinfeldt and it is heavily rumoured that the new president, and a new EU ‘Foreign Secretary’ must be nominated and selected prior to a summit in Brussels on Thursday.

I’ve spent some pretty ropey times in Belgium at the behest of our nation and in truth I cannot think of a more mundane place outside of Labour Party HQ but despite his ridiculous calls for Euoropean symbolism over National symbolism even Parlez~me~’n~Tory would willingly support old Herman if it meant that Blair was sidelined.

Yes, Parlez~me~’n~Tory would compromise his own views for the good of our country; something our current Prime Minister seems incapable of.

We all know how often Gordon Brown has been caught out with broken promises and his lies but now he has hit record lows in his bid to lie his way back to No10.

The PM who, it seems, is incapable of telling a single truth artificially inflated figures for job creation and then forced his lies upon not just his Cabinet but us, the general public.

I have thought about how to word this blog post and in truth I could not word it better than how it appears in the Telegraph and so is therefore reproduced below:

Shadow chief Treasury secretary Philip Hammond cited Treasury figures which suggested the true figure could be as little as half the 500,000 hailed by the PM and used in April’s Budget.

And he pointed out that even the upper end of the official estimate – which the civil servants who compiled it warned came with ”huge uncertainty” – was only 450,000.

In a letter to Sir Michael Scholar, chair of the UK Statistics Authority, Mr Hammond also pointed to Treasury advice that it would be wrong to claim credit for the contribution to the jobs figure made by independent Bank of England policies on interest rates and quantitative easing.

”The result of this presentational inaccuracy by the Prime Minister – accidental or otherwise – has been significantly to overstate the impact of the Government’s discretionary fiscal policy interventions, misleading the public, business and the financial markets with potentially serious consequences,” he said.

The Treasury note, released under freedom of information laws, advised that: ”You could say ’supported up to 450,000 jobs’ in the Budget speech.

”A public statement should be worded carefully. It would be misleading to state that this number of jobs had been created.”

The Prime Minister’s spokesman said: ”The methodology that was used is consistent with the methods the OECD (Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development) and ILO (International Labour Organisation) use to create estimates for the G20.

”It is internationally accepted that you would round up a figure, so the figure is rounded up.”

The spokesman said that the estimates were ”correct” and added that many more jobs had been supported by Government action since the Budget.

To lie so bare faced and to in so public a fashion disgusts Parlez~me~’n~Tory.

There is now a new hashtag on Twitter #gordonsbrokenpromises feel free to use and exercise your disgust.