Parlez~me~'n~Tory

Rightly wry, satirically right

Yesterday was a weird day. Not weird as in freaky but just a tad odd.

It all started by me Tweeting a few very valid comments about DAVID WRIGHT then I got a message via Twitter stating that I had been “unfollowed” by a Labour supporter because of my “#fauxoutrage” over Mr Wright.

I put it to the chap that it was not a faux outrage and I was personally offended that I had been called a Scum Sucking Pig [David Wright later confirmed he "meant" the Tory party not its supporters were Scum Sucking Pigs....but he didn't really mean that as he didn't really send the Tweet did he!]

Anyway, the chap decided not to accept that I or other members of the Party could be offended and attempted to turn it on his head and started to go headlong into a monologue of how David Cameron had lied about his vote on gay adoption. I told the chap that if he had lied then that was wrong but that the subject did not affect me personally and so therefore I do not have enough knowledge of the subject and therefore cannot comment further. He continued…

Even engaging with other members of the Tory party via Twitter to continue his insistence that this was all somehow Cameron’s fault. He refused to accept that I was genuinely outraged and accused me of not caring over an issue because it did not personally affect me.

I invited the individual to grow up and stop cheapening the debate with false words attributed to me and further invited him to refollow me as and when he sees fit. I received no apology and I don’t expect this to be anytime soon. Which is a shame because despite his constant “labour are never wrong” attitude he is on the whole an “ok” follow providing you can see through some of his daft debating points.

Anyway, the point of this blog is not meant to be a discussion of yesterday but to make a plea to the little people of Twitter/Blogosphere and the big people of Twitter/Blogosphere whatever their Political belief.

That plea is: If you have a PPC in your constituency you wish them to enter politics with enthusiasm and belief, you wish them to represent you to the best of their ability, you expect them to sometimes vote against their party, not in protest but because they genuinely believe in something. You expect them to have the power of individual thought. The same goes for a sitting MP, you expect them to have the power of individual thought.

Dear voter, please afford the PPC, the MP and the whole of the Twitter world/Blogosphere the power of your individual thought. If you wish to spout a party line without your own thoughts then there are plenty of places for that, the hustings even, your own rallies perhaps. But when you are attempting to engage with others of the same and differing persuasions why not try expressing your own thoughts. Try it, see how it goes, you never know you may actually like being an individual that stands out from your crowd.

Oh, and to make yesterday even weirder I predicted Man Utd would win 2-3 when they were already 1-0 down!

The election campaign is already starting to get heated. Yes, those in the frame for Leader of the Labour Party are really stepping up a gear.

We all know it is General Election year #GE10 and the most likely date is 6th May, following a Budget full of empty promises of investment, prosperity and pay later schemes. But there is currently an election looming far sooner and far more meaningful for the Labour Party and potentially the country.

It is clearly understood that any leader of the Labour Party other than Gordon Brown following a coup would be able to narrow the Poll gap between themselves and the Conservative Party as the incumbent would inevitably enjoy the honeymoon period and the ‘bounce’ that goes with a personality change.

For months it was assumed that 26th March would be #GE10 thereby allowing the Government to avoid announcing any form of Budget but that would simply not allow enough time for the new leader to make the role his/her own.

Following a pre-Christmas party hosted by Charles Clarke the former Home Secretary and one of the most vocal anti-Brown campaigners it seems one output was to brief a series of coordinated press releases slamming the leadership of Gordon Brown and stating how better off the party and the country would be without him at the helm.

Briefings: Charles Clarke, Barry Sheerman, Greg Pope, Polly Toynbee

…the list of those present includes Parmjit Dhanda, Malcolm Wicks and Meg Munn

So then, who is the in the driving seat and who is set to star in the shake-up of the Labour party?

Or, are we to face yet another failed coup from a bunch of snipers who haven’t got the courage to do anything other than moan about how bad a Conservative Government would be for Britain?

We already know that Harriet Harman is to head up Gordon Brown and the PLP’s #GE10 campaign which sidelines Lord Mandelson (a very risky strategy indeed), but was this appointment simply to the *Fearless Five striking first?

*Fearless Five are a group of rebels led by Jack Straw, the others are Deputy Labour leader Harriet Harman, Chancellor Alistair Darling, Foreign Secretary David Miliband and Home Secretary Alan Johnson.

One also has to wonder how much Sarah Brown will be used throughout #GE10 as already she has persuaded an ex-colleague from the PR field, Helen Scott Lidgett to join her in the depths of the bunker.

Today, Gordon Brown will give a speech that will be full of empty promises and scorn on the Tories but will it be enough to stave the assassins from his door?

Lord Tyker, the Liberal Democrat Peer seems to have been a little caught up with reality television.

It seems that the Peer cannot tell the difference between reality (something generally occurring around you that affects your life) and reality television (something that affects a few individuals who are stupid enough to get involved and millions outside who sit agog every week).

Lord Tyker has tabled a parliamentary question calling for the BBC to be transparent.

Sounds fair enough when labeled as such but when the truth outs it makes the Peer look remarkably silly, but Parlez~me~’n~Tory ask is this really a good use of our resources and money?

Perhaps it is because I watch so little television (I like it that way) that I have no idea who Ricky Whittle is but apparently he recently lost Strictly Come Dancing and has called for the BBC to disclose the voting figures for every week and round he was involved. Is he suggesting there is some wrongdoing?

Is that what Lord Tyker is suggesting by tabling this question? It would appear so in his comments

It’s completely ludicrous to claim that the Corporation shouldn’t make clear how well each couple did in the Strictly final.

The technology is there, so why the smoke and mirrors?

Surely if you ask the public to ring in, it’s in the public interest to know the full result.

The trouble is, Sir, we do know the full result, what you seem to want to know is what led to the full and final result, what influencing factors were there.

Well, guess what, a major influencing factor for Mr Whittle would be that he gained too few votes…something I fear will be happening across the South West of this country for your Party come the General Election.

It would seem a case of sour grapes plain and simple in that Mr Whittle has not been asked to attend the Strictly Come Dancing tour whilst others who lost before him have been invited.

Talking of the General Election Lord Tyker and don’t get me wrong as I respect and even like your voting record, it is admirable and echoes many of my own thoughts but why bring this up now?

Are you simply seeking to fill the void on a Saturday evening, are you genuinely concerned that the BBC is corrupt to the core or are you simply gesture politicking to raise awareness of the fact that there is a third ‘major’ Party in this country?

Living in Frome, Somerset it upsets me that not only do we have a Liberal Democrat as our MP (David Heath) but the so called ‘FREE Press’, isn’t.

Several times I have had letters rebuffed by the local press and the latest was just a few days ago. I also sent the letter to the Daily Telegraph hoping that they would have the decency to print it, alas, they did not.

[...it has been suggested by Phil Woodford [a fellow Twitterer and an all round good egg] that perhaps I should have signed it Lt Col (rtd) to secure publication…considering putting it on my next one!]

As a consequence I have decided to print it below:

Dear Sir,

Last week the final barrier to the full ratification of the EU’s Lisbon Treaty was overcome and on the First day of December it will be entered into law in all 27 member countries.

Despite all three main political parties promising the nation a referendum at the 2005 election we have not been given the opportunity to vote on this renamed constitution.

In 2007, following a local referendum in this highly marginal seat of Somerton and Frome over 90% of people who exercised the right to vote gave a clear ‘NO’ to the constitution. In essence, more people voted in favour of a referendum than for David Heath to be our representative, which in turn forced our MP to vote with the Conservatives in Parliament in support of a plebiscite.

Now that the Treaty has been ratified (albeit by consequential means), I wonder if he still believes we should have a referendum on it, or whether his vote was simply gesture politics and he has since retreated to the default Liberal Democrat position of just having an “in or out” referendum – which they hope will result in a win for the euro-fanatics?

If we are to see a repatriation of powers to our democratically elected Parliament rather than being dictated to from Brussels, we must have a strong government that is willing to fight for our country, as David Cameron made clear last week he would do should he win the General Election.

Ultimately, the question begs, will David Heath resign again in order to support our country?

Yours faithfully

Today is the Queen’s Speech. Quite possibly the most newsworthy item of the day but I sincerely doubt it.

Many tomes will be written today and in the future about the cynical content of the speech and how it is in effect a pre-manifesto manifesto so I don’t for one minute propose to add to that weight of words.

Instead, I propose to discuss something I feel is far more newsworthy today as I believe it ’slipped’ under the radar yesterday in the furore of an investment announcement.

Yesterday, Lord Adonis announced that the 10 worst railway stations in England would each get to share £50m. That much we already know.

Fair enough, in the past I have been ‘quietly impressed’ with Lord Adonis and his apparent concern for doing the right thing by the railways but somehow, this just doesn’t sit comfortably with Parlez~me~’n~Tory.

How does Lord Adonis suddenly (1 day prior to a huge swathe of announcements within the Queen’s Speech) decide which stations are to be in his remit for this investment proposal?

What criteria was used for determining the worst stations in the country? Was this a consultative process? If so, with whom and when?

Personally, I believe that the only consultation (external to rail management) was between members of the Cabinet and only very senior members at that.

It is the belief of Parlez~me~’n~Tory that the criteria used was based purely on the best possible chance of a positive return at the General Election. Shall I put that statement into perspective?

Let’s take a look at the stations that are set to benefit and who controls the community. The 2nd line of each entry indicates: MP (Constituency/Benefitting area, Party) Majority (Year entered Parliament):

Station: Barking

Margaret Hodge (Barking, Lab) 8,883 (1994)

Station: Clapham Junction

Martin Linton (Battersea, Lab) 163 (1997)

Station: Crewe

Edward Timpson (Crewe & Nantwich, Con) 7,860 (2008)

Station: Liverpool Central

Maria Eagle (Liverpool, Garston, Lab) 7,193 (1997)
Louise Ellman (Liverpool, Riverside, Lab) 10,214 (1997)
Peter Kilfoyle (Liverpool, Walton, Lab) 15,957 (1991)
Jane Kennedy (Liverpool, Wavertree, Lab) 5,173 (1992)
Robert Wareing (Liverpool, West Derby, Ind) 15,225 (1983)

Station: Luton

Kelvin Hopkins (Luton North, Lab) 6,487 (1997)
Margaret Moran (Luton South, Lab) 5,650 (1997)

Station: Manchester Victoria

Tony Lloyd (Manchester Central, Lab) 9,776 (1983)
Graham Stringer (Manchester, Blackley, Lab) 12,027
Gerald Kaufman (Manchester, Gorton, Lab) 5,808 (1970)
John Leech (Manchester, Withington, Ldem) 667 votes (2005)

Station: Preston

Mark Hendrick (Preston, Lab) 9,407 (2000)

Station: Stockport

Ann Coffey (Stockport, Lab) 9,163 (1992)

Station: Warrington Bank Quay

Helen Jones (Warrington North, Lab) 12,204 (1997)
Helen Southworth (Warrington South, Lab) 3,515 (1997)

Station: Wigan North Weston

Neil Turner (Wigan, Lab) 11,767 (1999)

Do you notice a pattern developing?

It is rather obvious that apart from a token Conservative, Liberal Democrat and Independent the rest are Labour; not exactly with the strongest majorities either.

So, we have many Government ministers that were already set to enter the General Election campaign on very shaky ground who can now point to a huge cash investment in their region as evidence of what the Labour Government can and will do for their community. [It would be very interesting to do some analysis on what the breakdown of each local council is for these regions]…anyone wish to do that work?

Expect countless cries of ‘you wouldn’t get this under a Tory Government’ most notably in the voice of John Prescott to ram home hard the ‘working class’ Labour perception.

With the strategic position of the vast majority of these seats, [don't think for one minute they weren't chosen without that in mind] this investment turns out to be not quite what you thought it was yesterday and with the Queen’s speech today this will be all but lost in the noise. This cannot be allowed to happen.

MP’s from all sides, lobbyists and the blogosphere must leap on this and challenge Lord Adonis for the truth behind his rationale.

I’m pretty sure I can say this, Lembit Opik MP is an ‘interesting’ looking fellow!

Lord only knows what he has going for him especially considering the fact that he is a Liberal Democrat MP but in recent years his ‘love’ life (or to be more precise) his ‘fake celebrity’ life has overshadowed his Political career which always put me in mind of my MP David Heath (I previously mentioned here his love of all things publicity).

Hi girls, I can see the WANTS TO in your eyes...

With Lembit having previously been dumped by a Cheeky Girl and his relationship with Sian Lloyd coming to an acrimonious end what is left for the fellow now that he and Katie Green have split [that is presuming that they were actually ever really dating in the first place] and Parlez~me~’n~Tory certainly doesn’t think that’s the case.

Not sure if this has done the rounds yet but it sure made me chuckle

Following the Conference season during the past couple of weeks which was towards the end of the prolonged summer recess today is the day where our beloved MP’s make their way back for the first day of term.

In case you’ve forgotten, 17th July 2009 was the last day in the office and since then it’s just been fun all the way!

We’ve had Nick Clegg pleading like a spoilt child I want to be Prime Minister, we’ve had the leader of this once great nation admit that the Tories were right all along and that there will be cu*ts, lots of them and we shouldn’t trust the Tories because their cuts will be the horrible kind, and we’ve had David Cameron and George Osborne stand up and tell it like it is and watched them be lambasted for their honesty in the Left leaning press.

It’s also been a time of TWATS and CHUMPS!

Ah, yes, we also had this great BULLSHIT ALERT from Gordon Brown (#GoBro) himself.

How fitting then that today that the rank and file MP’s who’ve covered themselves in such glory during this recess have to return to more investigative research into their expenses, let’s see just how much the Prime Minister HAS to PAY BACK.

It’s great to be back!