Parlez~me~'n~Tory

Rightly Wry, Satirically RIGHT

This is yours, if you want it…

Today I spent a little time exploring a piece of software that I have had for rather a long time and never actually opened. I was scared of it, I didn’t know how to use it and was quite content that one day I would wake with renewed vigor and it would all jump out of the box and explain itself to me. Well, that day was today.

In truth it didn’t take much working out but it allowed me to explore an idea that has been floating around my head for a while. What you are about to watch is only 57 seconds in length and does not feature all the “stars” that you would expect to see but it is a clue to what I was thinking (it is only a draft so it is patchy in places).

So, the question begs, do you want to work with this, expand on this, recreate this?

This is clearly going to take some time to complete and if you have that time then great. The seed of the idea is there, why not use it, there are many of you out there that can do a much better job than this, but for a first attempt I am rather pleased.

The tune is perfect, the lyrics lend themselves so much to pretty much whatever angle you wish to take them so why not have a little fun.

My only request is that if you use the idea then at least please link back to here so that I can see how clever you are and hopefully garner some tips for my future use. Thank you and hopefully you will enjoy…

As stated, I don’t do caption contests, but if I did and with all eyes on Dave in this G8 image from yesterday this would be prime for something referencing Gillian Duffy, Sue and a man who shall not be named

...and then he said

Well, the world is still going, the sky is still blue and not falling and the bailiffs are not at my door. According to a whole host of Labour bloggers over the past few months even years this is not how the first day of a Conservative Government should be, so, what went wrong? Or rather, what went right?

Well, I don’t think we are even anywhere near to examining what went right or wrong, that should be a process we undertake as an ongoing task throughout the life of this Parliament and throughout the next 3 or 4 years.

Yesterday, Gordon Brown did something that finally made the nation proud, his very dignified exit from No10.

This is a very historic moment with the Conservatives working together with the Liberal Democrats and a fixed term Parliament. VERY historic.

What I do feel as my responsibility though and that of my fellow bloggers and tweeters is a duty to be honest. A duty to tell it like it is, warts and all.

PLEASE let’s not go the way of so many on the LEFT whilst they were crumbling and bury our heads in the sand. Stand up and say if you think something is wrong. Stand up and let the Government know if you feel they have fundamentally got an issue wrong or overlooked something.

We won the race in the bloggersphere hands down and that was partly due to our ability to be forward thinking and critical of the Government whilst still taking our own side to task. I put it to you this morning PLEASE DON’T STOP, DON’T LOSE THAT FREEDOM.

Stick to those principles and I am sure this Government will not just deliver but also return a majority Government within the full term of this Parliament.

UPDATE: After a discussion with a member of David Heath’s campaign team (see comments below) it seems that the comments I attributed to the campaign team themselves seemingly originated from an over enthusiastic supporter of the Liberal Democrats, I am amending this blog post accordingly:

Whilst it would be fun to put a picture up here at this stage I shall abstain, you get the image, no help needed.

If, as it is becoming a little clearer this afternoon that a deal is on the cards between the Conservatives and the Liberal Democrats I want to go on record that I DO NOT TRUST NICK CLEGG, nor some of the other “negotiating” team, (official ones or not) and yes, that’s you Mr Cable.

I live in a Lib Dem marginal whereby a very hard working PPC was beaten, partly by the Labour vote, partly by the UKIP vote and partly because of Class smears by David Heath’s team possibly by an over enthusiastic supporter. These overtones of rotten politicis disgust me, they play all nice with local businesses but they launch into a tirade of abuse when given the chance. Quite simply I cannot take what a Lib Dem in my constituency says as the truth.

So, if you want to work out where I stand on this pact thing just read my blog posts from this morning at one stage even advocating a minority Government, at others suggesting the Lib/Lab pact should go ahead, all with good reasons. I am not comfortable with a Con/Lib pact but I trust David Cameron, William Hague and George Osborne not to have sold my Party down the swanny and that the percentage of the UK seats won by the Lib Dems is proportionate within any Government.

Let’s wait for the real (if there is any) announcement.

Here’s a very quick thought.

Labour could yet come out of this whole fiasco smelling of roses and still save Britain!

If Labour refuse to do a pact with the Liberal Democrats at the same time as the Conservatives refuse to do a pact with them this will put Nick The Arrogant squarely back in his place having missed the only boat they will ever be offered.

Labour have already set the ball rolling to replace their leader, if they allow a Conservative minority Government and assist by voting the Queen’s speech through they can, [almost] legitimately stand for Election in 10 months time on a mandate of CHANGE and FRESH FOCUS.

I personally think if that were the case the Conservatives would still be returned with a working majority and I am ready for that challenge.

Can we count on the Labour Party doing the right thing for the country?

With the prospect of a Lab/Lib coalition on the cards one has to admit that the clues were always there, the Labour Party had lost its vision years ago and had limped to this point in time

Jack? Jack? Where's my Jack?

As for Nick (The Arrogant) Clegg whilst claiming to do what is best for the country has lurched to his natural side.

Nick The Arrogant

Ok, Clegg The Arrogant has opened channels with Gordon. Gordon announces resignation but not until September. Here’s how I told you this would happen 3 days ago.

When the next General Election is called, Labour will say look at us, we are progressive, we have worked with the Liberals for 4 months we have a new leader, a new focus and new energy to guide Britain through this rough time (forgetting they caused the rough time) then they will say look at them, the Tories, that Cameron he lost a General Election.

Dave, pack up your things and prepare to move into No10, the Conservatives need to move to form a minority Government in the face of the underhandedness by Nick The Arrogant who clearly cannot be trusted.

None of this is reality but it is what will become Labour reality if this all pans out. Whatever happens this is a VERY bad day for democracy in this country.

After 13 years in Opposition there are few who wish to see a Conservative Government more than I at this moment. It has been a long and often lonely platform from which to fight back but last Thursday, we did just that, we fought back to not just a level playing field but to a position of advancement within the number of seats.

Yes, the Conservative Party gained a majority but not a working overall majority. There are polls and arguments going on in every Party at every level as to why each Party failed to do better, this should be apparent more in the Lib Dems than any other Party but it is not, at least not just yet.

Labour claim they want AV but only because it favours them. Lib Dems claim they want PR but only because it favours them. We, are content with FPTP but it does not favour us, if we change boundaries and make each constituency the same size then that will favour us. but, we are where we are and it is sadly FPTP that got us in this position.

Now then, the Lib Dems had a crap night on Thursday there are no two ways about it but they had a great morning on Friday because it allows them to hide their dreadful performance at #ge10.

It is now the Lib Dems who hold the card, not much of one but just enough to determine who may or who may not lead the next Government. But all of a sudden Nick Clegg has become rather arrogant.

He is almost holding the British electorate to ransom, pretending to scrutinise what is on offer from both the Conservatives and Labour Parties. He talks of a deal in the coming days, he talks of needing further details yet he talks of doing what is right for the nation.

I want a Conservative Government but I don’t want the David Cameron to sell the Party down the line and I don’t believe he will. What I don’t want is some arrogant jumped up two-bit player getting off telling journalists, MP’s and the electorate that he is taking his time.

Nick, either step up to the mantel, make that statement and right now I don’t care if you go Lab/Lib or Con/Lib, I want a Conservative Government but I don’t want one so badly as to have to bow to you.