I made comment that I would seek to report this infringement by 11th March. It is perhaps encouraging that today (2 days before the deadline) I have received the following via e-mail:

—–Original Message—–
From: Ed Balls
Sent: 09 March 2010 11:11
To: Gary Stuart Wicks
Subject: RE: Feedback from Ed’s Website

Dear Gary,

Thanks for your email. We are currently reviewing the site content, and will update it where appropriate.

Best wishes,

Kate

Kate Williams

Office of Ed Balls MP

________________________________

From: Gary Stuart Wicks [mailto:xxxxxxx@gmail.com]
Sent: Fri 26/02/2010 08:18
To: Ed Balls
Subject: Feedback from Ed’s Website

This mail comes from the http://www.edballs.co.uk/index.jsp?t=contactEd page of the website.

Name: Gary Stuart Wicks
Email: xxxxxxx@gmail.com
Telephone No.:
Comments: Good morning.

Last evening whilst viewing your Website I noticed a number of discrepancies within your Privacy Policy and, I believe a number of areas whereby your site breaches the Data Protection Act 1998.

I took the liberty of writing a blog post to highlight the said discrepancies and areas I believe that may cause you problems.

It is extremely important that ALL (especially Government) websites, businesses and those gathering personal data do so with a full commitment to the DPA and that they fully understand their legal obligations.

This is not a partisan witch hunt but the beginning of research to discover how many government affiliated sites fail to meet their own legislation in an endeavour to bring EVERYBODY up to the same standard.

My blog post that relates to this issue can be located at the following URL:

http://www.wicksie.com/blunder/ed-balls-mp-plagiarised-his-mates-homework/

You will notice the 14 day deadline prior to any action being taken such as reporting the issue to the DPA and the ICO to facilitate your work to correct this “oversight”

If you wish to contact me with regards this issue then please do so via the address given or comment directly on the blog post.

I look forward to a swift resolution of these breaches.

Best regards
Gary Stuart Wicks

It would seem we have a partial success on our hands for common sense and more importantly for what is RIGHT.

I am not counting my chickens just yet but rest assured I shall continue to monitor the situation and report back accordingly.

I do cede that Ed’s office has taken the first positive step to rectification of this matter.

Dear Sir John,

Since Gordon Brown’s session last Friday (5 March 2010) two former Chiefs of the Defence Staff (Admiral Lord Boyce and General Lord Guthrie) and a former Chief of the General Staff ( General Sir Richard Dannatt), all highly respected men of great integrity, have made public statements completely contrary to, and directly challenging, what Gordon Brown said during his session regarding resourcing and equipping our Armed Forces.

‘There is a strong case for you to recall Gordon Brown for further testimony in front of your inquiry after the upcoming General Election.

‘I fully understand why you do not want your inquiry to be involved with party politics but I do think that it is important to get the truth in this matter even if this cannot happen until after the election.

Yours Sincerely
Dr Liam Fox MP
Shadow Secretary of State for Defence

The case for seeking this clarification?

Lord Guthrie

‘The military wanted to do many things but because of his attitude they were unable to fund properly the Strategic Defence Review (1998) which the Cabinet had approved, especially at a time when other departments were being showered with money.

The Ministry of Defence received the bare minimum from the chancellor, who wanted to give the military as little as he could get away with. The increases that we had in budget were small and did not take into account the above-inflation cost rises of defence….He ‘cannot get away with saying, “I gave them everything they asked for.” That is simply disingenuous’ (The Daily Telegraph, 6 March 2010).

Lord Boyce

‘He’s dissembling, he’s being disingenuous. It’s just not the case that the Ministry of Defence was given everything it needed. There may have been a 1.5 per cent increase in the defence budget but the MoD was starved of funds’ (The Times, 6 March 2010).

General Dannatt

‘In front of Chilcot, he did not address the issue of the underlying underfunding of defence that has been endemic since the Strategic Defence Review of 1997/98.

Implementation of that otherwise excellent Review was hobbled from the start by the Treasury under Gordon Brown not only not fully funding the outcome of the Review, but imposing a three per cent year on year efficiency savings target. To that deficient baseline needs to be added the reopening of the MoD’s budget in 2003, a re-examination of the rules and the effective removal of a £1 billion year on year – what Sir Kevin Tebbit referred to as “guillotining” of the defence budget… Furthermore, despite the Government increasing the headline figure of the defence budget on an annual basis, the uplift to match general inflation was below that of defence inflation, which habitually runs at several percentage points higher.

So the net effect over recent years has been that the real value – the purchasing power – of the defence budget has decreased every year, and the pressure on the MoD and the Armed Forces has increased’ …no amount of rewriting history can compensate for the years when he neither understood defence properly nor was persuaded to pay for it fully’ (The Sunday Telegraph, 7 March 2010).

Seem pretty clear to me!

As the title suggests, anyone who says Labour just doesn’t get irony is spot on. I wonder if this prize will actually turn up?

Ok, let’s begin

Seems fair enough, that’s nice of them, then…

None of that cash spared then eh? then…

Wahay, a winner! then…

Oh, the irony! Something tells me they just don’t get it!

My apologies for the less than quality images, my mini10 is being rebuilt and the software on here is not up to the mark, normal service to be resumed as soon as possible and at that time these images will be replaced.

That said, however, I do have an issue with some of the words he chose and in fact I shall go so far as to say that David Cameron was absolutely wrong in his speech when he said

They don’t hand general election victories and governments on a plate to people in this country

….er, yes David, they do.

If you remove the words General and Election then you have just described how the Parliamentary Labour Party conned the British electorate. Otherwise how can you explain the fact that we now have an unelected and ineffectual leader in Gordon Brown?

It’s not a riveting read to be honest so I do these things so that you don’t have to and if you wish to buy me a beer sometime for that gesture then I shall be most grateful. Anyway, I digress…

Whilst considering Ed’s arrogance and his outright refusal to answer any of my 42 questions I have posed him on Twitter I decided to visit his Privacy Policy to see how “robust” [his favourite word of late] it actually was. What I found is below:

Privacy Policy

IP addresses and log file data

The Labour Party site does not automatically capture or store personal information, other than logging the user’s IP Address or the location of your computer or network on the Internet, for systems administration and troubleshooting purposes. (If you are connected to the Internet you have an IP address, for example an IP address might read “154.198.99.9″). We also use IP addresses in the aggregate to track which pages people visit in order to improve the quality of the site.

Data collection and use

You may be asked for personal information if you complete one of the forms on this site. Please see below the information we ask for and what this information is used for.

In each case we will only use the information about you for the purpose for which you provide it. The Labour Party does not sell or disclose this information to outside organisations or individuals, nor transfer it outside the United Kingdom. You may remove or change your details at any time. You have right of access to your personal information held on our files by written request to the data protection officer (address below) and on payment of an administration fee.

Site registration and email service (to receive Ed Balls newsletter)

When you register onto the site or subscribe for Labour eNews we ask you for contact information (such as your name and e-mail address), geographic information (such as your postcode and constituency), and other details about you and your interests. This is used to help us provide you with information to match your interests. We may also use it to alert you of campaigns you may be interested in and events happening in your area.

You can remove your name at any time from our e-mail subscription list by sending an unsubscribe request.

If you are registered onto the site, you can edit your registration and enews subscription details at any time through your personal on-line form. If you have not registered on the site and you wish to change your contact email address you need to unsubscribe from our mailing list and sign up again using your new information. If you are registered on the site as a member and you use the site to change your registration details (eg. address or email address) this information may also be used to update your membership record on the Party’s membership database to ensure it is up-to-date and accurate.

Cookie

A cookie is a tiny text file that is stored on your computer. We may use cookies in order to tailor your experience on our site according to the preferences you have specified. However we will only access the information that we stored in your cookie file. We will not access any information stored in a cookie by other websites. Our cookies do not contain any personally identifiable information.

Information on children

We do not knowingly collect personally identifiable information from children under the age of 16 without permission.

Links to other sites

Our site contains links to other sites and servers. The Labour Party is not responsible for the privacy practices or the content of such websites.

How we protect your information

Our website has security measures in place to protect against the loss, misuse or alteration of the information under our control. Our server is located in a locked, secure environment.

Choice/unsubscribe

We provide you the opportunity to opt-out of receiving communications from us easily and promptly. Our unsubscribe requests are processed weekly.

Correcting your information

If you need to correct the information you provided us with when you subscibed to our e-mail list, you can do so through your personal form provided on-line. If you need to change your e-mail address, you can unsubscribe from our mailing lists and sign up again using your new information. Or if you have registered with a username and password you may change your details at any time via the login page without needing to re-register.

Contacting us about privacy

If you have any questions about our privacy policy, the information we have collected from you online, the practices of this site or your interaction with this website, send an email to: ed@edballs.com or telephone us on 01924 898158.

You can also contact us at the address displayed on every page of this site.

We will continue to evaluate our efforts to protect your information and will update our privacy policy whenever necessary.

I won’t blame you for not bothering to read that but I shall pull out a few snippets for your delectation:

IP addresses and log file data
The Labour Party site does not automatically capture or store personal information

The Labour Party does not sell or disclose this information to outside organisations or individuals, nor transfer it outside the United Kingdom

When you register onto the site or subscribe for Labour eNews

We may also use it to alert you of campaigns you may be interested in and events happening in your area.[what Normanton???Come on Ed]

If you are registered on the site as a member and you use the site to change your registration details (eg. address or email address) this information may also be used to update your membership record on the Party’s membership database to ensure it is up-to-date and accurate.

Links to other sites
Our site contains links to other sites and servers. The Labour Party is not responsible for the privacy practices or the content of such websites.

Our server is located in a locked, secure environment.[no Ed, it isn't!]

In case you haven’t understand from the above Ed is either pretending to be the Labour Party as a whole or he has stolen the Privacy Policy from the Labour Party Website.

Is he equal to the Party? He may think he is…

I have reproduced the LabourParty.org.uk original Privacy Policy below so you can compare for yourself.

IP addresses and log file data
The Labour Party site does not automatically capture or store personal information, other than logging the user’s IP Address or the location of your computer or network on the Internet, for systems administration and troubleshooting purposes. (If you are connected to the Internet you have an IP address, for example an IP address might read “154.198.99.9″). We also use IP addresses in the aggregate to track which pages people visit in order to improve the quality of the site.

Data collection and use
You may be asked for personal information if you complete one of the forms on this site. Please see below the information we ask for and what this information is used for.

In each case we will only use the information about you for the purpose for which you provide it. The Labour Party does not sell or disclose this information to outside organisations or individuals, nor transfer it outside the United Kingdom. You may remove or change your details at any time. You have right of access to your personal information held on our files by written request to the data protection officer (address below) and on payment of an administration fee.

Site registration and email service
When you register onto the site or subscribe to our emails, we ask you for contact information (such as your name and e-mail address), geographic information (such as your postcode and constituency), and other details about you and your interests. This is used to help us provide you with information to match your interests. We may also use it to alert you of campaigns you may be interested in and events happening in your area.

Joining the Party and renewing your membership online
We collect the required information in order to check you meet the conditions of and help you fulfil the opportunities provided by membership of the Labour Party. At your option, we ask for additional information such as gender, date of birth and trade union membership to help us provide a better membership service to you.

To volunteer (pledge your support)
We ask for your contact details, postcode and information on the type of volunteer work you are interested in. This information helps us identify suitable volunteer opportunities for you within the Party. Your details will be forwarded to the appropriate local or regional party officer who can then contact you.

Donating to the Party
The information we ask for is used to process your donation and, if you donate more than £200, to check that you are on the electoral register. If you donate more than £1,000 to a Labour Party unit (eg. Constituency Labour Party) or more than £5,000 to the Labour Party nationally in the course of a calendar year, your name and the amount of your donation will be reported to the Electoral Commission for publication on their public register of donations to the Labour Party. Donation Information will be stored on our membership database and used to keep you informed of Labour news, campaign and other opportunities to support the Party.

Cookie
A cookie is a tiny text file that is stored on your computer. We may use cookies in order to tailor your experience on our site according to the preferences you have specified. However we will only access the information that we stored in your cookie file. We will not access any information stored in a cookie by other websites. Our cookies do not contain any personally identifiable information.

Information on children

The Labour Party does not process any personal details from individuals under the age of 15 without parent/guardian consent. Details of under 16s are processed for membership purposes only.

Links to other sites
Our site contains links to other sites and servers. The Labour Party is not responsible for the privacy practices or the content of such websites.

How we protect your information
Our website has security measures in place to protect against the loss, misuse or alteration of the information under our control. Our server is located in a locked, secure environment, with a guard posted 24 hours a day. When you contribute online, we use a secure server to protect your credit card number and other personal information during transmission. The details are transmitted through Thawte to ensure absolute security.

Choice/unsubscribe
We provide you the opportunity to opt-out of receiving communications from us easily and promptly. Our unsubscribe requests are processed weekly.

Correcting your information
If you need to correct the information you provided us with when you subscibed to our e-mail list, you can do so through your personal form provided on-line. If you need to change your e-mail address, you can unsubscribe from our mailing lists and sign up again using your new information. Or if you have registered with a username and password you may change your details at any time via the login page without needing to re-register.

Contacting us about privacy
If you have any questions about our privacy policy, the information we have collected from you online, the practices of this site or your interaction with this website, please contacy us by clicking here or telephone our call centre on 08705 900200.

You can also contact us at the address below:
E-campaigns team
Labour Party
39 Victoria Street
London
SW1H 0HA

Our data protection officer can be contacted at the following address:
Melanie Onn
Labour Party
39 Victoria Street
London
SW1H 0HA

We will continue to evaluate our efforts to protect your information and will update our privacy policy whenever necessary

Quite simply Ed Balls has stolen this text and used it on his own site.

Even if he attempts to claim he had permission to use this then it shows that anybody who has given information such as e-mails etc via edballs.co.uk has no legal assurance that their information will be held and used correctly.

I put it to you, Ed Balls, Sir that you MUST change your Privacy Policy to correctly reflect the Website content you present.

Your failure to do this in a timely fashion (and I suggest that timely fashion is 14 days from today so I am putting a deadline of 11th March 2010) will result in both you and your Website administrator being reported to the Information Commissioner’s Office (ICO) under a breach of the Data Protection Act (DPA).

I welcome your suggestions as to how you propose to do this.

—–
UPDATE: After writing this last night I was amazed when I logged into Twitter this morning to find a number of people seemingly unaware of how important this little find is and how little awareness of the Data Protection Act there is out there and what you can expect of how your data is held and used.

The “Tweets” that awaited me this morning ranged from “when will you get a life” through “a moment to tedium” to “get back to fighting the good fight on the issues that matter” and “absolutely spot on, but what does the DPA do”.

Well, as for fighting the good fight and getting onto the issues that matter, this does matter, this matters a great deal. There are millions of businessmen and women, businesses, civil servants and the like out there slushing around on a daily basis having to ensure their wares meet the regulations set out within the DPA and further constraints set out by the ICO so why not expect that a Crown Minister complies with the law of the land?

If you have given your details via the Ed Balls Website I repeat you have no assurance of how that data is treated, the DPA exists to protect you and your data.

The Privacy Policy on the site is misleading and incorrect. I am prepared to bet good money on the fact that Ed Balls uses a standard commercial host and to make the statements he is making I would like very real proof of evidence, or at least I would had I been churlish enough to give my data over to his site.

I have contacted Ed Balls via his Website to inform him of his non-compliance and await a reply.

This once great nation that stood proud and true is all but broken, her epitaph reads as such:

And that will be England gone,
The shadows, the meadows, the lanes,
The guildhalls, the carved choirs.
There’ll be books; it will linger on
In galleries; but all that remains
For us will be concrete and tyres.

With notable thanks to Philip Larkin for his “Going, Going” poem of January 1972

An insider quoted the great economist Forrest Gump when he said

…that’s about all I’ve got to say about that

It all started by me Tweeting a few very valid comments about DAVID WRIGHT then I got a message via Twitter stating that I had been “unfollowed” by a Labour supporter because of my “#fauxoutrage” over Mr Wright.

I put it to the chap that it was not a faux outrage and I was personally offended that I had been called a Scum Sucking Pig [David Wright later confirmed he "meant" the Tory party not its supporters were Scum Sucking Pigs....but he didn't really mean that as he didn't really send the Tweet did he!]

Anyway, the chap decided not to accept that I or other members of the Party could be offended and attempted to turn it on his head and started to go headlong into a monologue of how David Cameron had lied about his vote on gay adoption. I told the chap that if he had lied then that was wrong but that the subject did not affect me personally and so therefore I do not have enough knowledge of the subject and therefore cannot comment further. He continued…

Even engaging with other members of the Tory party via Twitter to continue his insistence that this was all somehow Cameron’s fault. He refused to accept that I was genuinely outraged and accused me of not caring over an issue because it did not personally affect me.

I invited the individual to grow up and stop cheapening the debate with false words attributed to me and further invited him to refollow me as and when he sees fit. I received no apology and I don’t expect this to be anytime soon. Which is a shame because despite his constant “labour are never wrong” attitude he is on the whole an “ok” follow providing you can see through some of his daft debating points.

Anyway, the point of this blog is not meant to be a discussion of yesterday but to make a plea to the little people of Twitter/Blogosphere and the big people of Twitter/Blogosphere whatever their Political belief.

That plea is: If you have a PPC in your constituency you wish them to enter politics with enthusiasm and belief, you wish them to represent you to the best of their ability, you expect them to sometimes vote against their party, not in protest but because they genuinely believe in something. You expect them to have the power of individual thought. The same goes for a sitting MP, you expect them to have the power of individual thought.

Dear voter, please afford the PPC, the MP and the whole of the Twitter world/Blogosphere the power of your individual thought. If you wish to spout a party line without your own thoughts then there are plenty of places for that, the hustings even, your own rallies perhaps. But when you are attempting to engage with others of the same and differing persuasions why not try expressing your own thoughts. Try it, see how it goes, you never know you may actually like being an individual that stands out from your crowd.

Oh, and to make yesterday even weirder I predicted Man Utd would win 2-3 when they were already 1-0 down!

However, as of today I am introducing a new category for the award of a NEWARK to the most spiteful, vile, horrible, ridiculously contempt statement made by a member of a Political Party or by one of its PPCs.

How fitting that I choose today to issue the first NEWARK to DAVID WRIGHT MP following his outrageously stupid Tweet from yesterday afternoon.

In this instance, rather than describe the events that led to DAVID WRIGHT becoming the first recipient I shall simply let the excellent Twitterer ToryRadio tell the story.

At what point did you realise the scum sucking phrase had been used David Wright?

The claim that the twitter account of David Wright just doesn’t add up IMHO.

Let run through some of the tweets. Anyone can go through all the tweets to and from @davidwrightmp here. No mention of account being hacked until the story is picked up on by mainstream media. Funny that!

…read the entire post HERE

DAVID, want to get your hands on the NEWARK? Give me a call, drop me a line and I shall send it right over so everyone can see how much of a NEWARK you really are!

Official Announcement:

The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from a Union Flag to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government’s political stance.

A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you’re actually being screwed.

Damn, it just doesn’t get more accurate than that!

With great thanks to the Labour Party without whom we’d all be a lot better off.

Why such a state of affairs for myself?

Well, it is the cynicism and blindness with which Labour supporting Tweeters spend their entire waking day slating anyone and anything other than Gordon Brown and/or the Parliamentary Labour Party. That’s fine, I can handle that but what I cannot handle is their duplicity, their double standards and their utter inability to accept anything other than what is preached to them by the ruling criminal class.

This week I have had several attacks on me as a Twitter user calling me bigoted, a troll, an arse, a member of a fu**ing stupid party, the vast majority of these tweets have been accompanied by vile and slanderous hashtags such as #toryfail #toryduplicity #nastyparty #stillthenastyparty and #hypocricy.

Well, news for you, you fools. The hypocricy is yours and yours alone. You don’t seem to realise that to use defamatory hashtags is the very thing you claim to detest and that is the act of trolling.

In Internet slang, a troll is someone who posts inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum, chat room or blog, with the primary intent of provoking other users into an emotional response or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion

The reality is that this country is in a shit state (this is where the Labour tweeters will now complain and call me a troll again) and it is the ruling Labour party that have wasted every resource we have.

They have thrown us to the dogs so that they may cling on with their fingertrips and Gordon Brown has become so ineffectual we are now expected to accept that his decision to be interviewed so close to the election is a normal state of affairs…and before you slate me PLP I don’t have an issue with him crying or showing emotion, I would do the same, but I do have an issue with the PLP attempting to give him another makeover and gain from the public at this late stage without examining the reality of the bias that has been shown against ANY other Party.

Honestly, there are some lovely Labour tweeters out there but there are some extremely vile and angry people.

You wouldn’t think these are the ones who have had power for so long. If ruling the country makes them so angry we had better watch out when they are in Opposition. God only knows what it does to their blood pressure.

I like to follow a wide range of people and Political oriented activists on Twitter because it opens the channels for debate, that is real debate not phony slanging matches, but it amazes me how some people just cannot seem to understand there are many things wrong with this country and they refuse to believe that it isn’t all sweetness and fluffy bunny rabbits.

As the chase for #GE10 hots up I fully expect the vile comments and partisan crap to increase and each instance will be blogged on here. For too long I have kept quiet, found a way forward by being conciliatory and by attempting to debate a point with someone who just wishes to abuse someone, anyone with a view that doesn’t fit theirs.

From now on? The gloves are off.

Let’s load the barrels, let’s plot the course because we have a fight on our hands and there are many on the LEFT who insist on making it a bloody dirty fight.

Perish the bloody thought!

Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.

Terrorists have been re-categorised from “Tiresome” to a “Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

The Scots raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let’s get the Bastards.” They don’t have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line in the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide”. The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.”

The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France’s white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country’s military capability.

It’s not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout loudly and excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”

The Germans also increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.”

They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbour” and “Lose”.

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

The Americans meanwhile are carrying out pre-emptive strikes on all of their allies, just in case.

New Zealand has also raised its security levels – from “baaa” to “BAAAA!”. Due to continuing defence cutbacks (the air force being a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy some toy boats in the Prime Minister’s bath), New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is “Shit, I hope Australia will come and rescue us”.

Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from “No worries” to “She’ll be alright, mate”.

Three more escalation levels remain, “Crikey!’, “I think we’ll need to cancel the barbie this weekend” and “The barbie is cancelled”.

So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

This, in my opinion is the most descriptive set of words ever compiled to discuss the dreadful subject that is Gordon Brown and the effect he has had on Britain.

The lyrics to “Death on two legs” follows as does a “soundtrack” video.

Watch and READ: For those ex-military, WATCH AND READ

Death on two legs

You suck my blood like a leech
You break the law and you preach
Screw my brain till it hurts
You’ve taken all my money
And you want more
Misguided old mule with your pig headed rules
With your narrow minded cronies
Who are fools of the first division
Death on two legs
You’re tearing me apart
Death on two legs
You’ve never had a heart of your own
Kill joy bad guy big talking small fry
You’re just an old barrow boy
Have you found a new toy to replace me?
Can you face me?
But now you can kiss my ass goodbye
Feel good are you satisfied?
Do you feel like suicide?
(i think you should)
Is your conscience all right
Does it plague you at night?
Do you feel good feel good?

You talk like a big business tycoon
You’re just a hot air balloon
So no one gives you a damn
You’re just an overgrown schoolboy
Let me tan your hide
A dog with disease
You’re the king of the ’sleaze’
Put your money where your mouth is
Mister know-all
Was the fin on your back
Part of the deal? (shark)
Death on two legs
You’re tearing me apart
Death on two legs
You’ve never had a heart (you never did) of your own
(right from the start)
Insane you should be put inside
You’re a sewer rat decaying in a cesspool of pride
Should be made unemployed
Then make yourself null and void
Make me feel good i feel good

Do you agree? Do you have a better alternative?

With respect and gratitude to the late, great Douglas Adams.

MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT:
Um listen, if we could, er, for a moment move on to the subject of fiscal policy –

FORD:
”Fiscal Policy”?!

MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT:
Yes.

FORD:
How can you have money if none of you actually produce anything? It doesn’t grow on trees you know!

MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT:
You know If you would allow me to continue!

CAPTAIN:
Yes let him to continue.

MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT:
Since we decided a few weeks ago to adopt leaves as legal tender, we have, of course all become immensely rich.

FORD:
No really? Really?

CROWD MEMBERS:
Yes, very good move…

MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT:
But, we have also run into a small inflation problem on account of the high level of leaf availability. Which means that I gather the current going rate has something like three major deciduous forests buying one ship’s peanut. So, um, in order to obviate this problem and effectively revalue the leaf, we are about to embark on an extensive defoliation campaign, and um, burn down all the forests. I think that’s a sensible move don’t you?

MARKETING GIRL:
That makes economic sense.

[Murmurs of agreement from crowd]

FORD:
[Yells] You’re absolutely barmy! You’ve a bunch of raving nutters!

MARKETING GIRL:
Well is it – perhaps – in order to inquire what you have been doing all this time, huh?

CROWD MEMBERS:
Yes!

MARKETING GIRL:
Yes, you and that other interloper have been missing for months.

FORD:
Well, with respect love, we have been travelling around trying to find out about this planet.

MARKETING GIRL:
Well, that doesn’t sound very productive. I mean I’ve looked –

FORD:
Well I have got news, I have got news for you. It doesn’t matter a pair feted dingo’s kidneys what you all choose to do from now on. Burn down the forests, anything. It won’t make a scrap of difference. Two-million years you’ve got, and that’s it. At the end of that, your race will be dead, gone, and good-riddance to you. Remember that. Two. Million. Years.

CAPTAIN:
Ah. It’s time for another bath. Hmph. Pass me the sponge somebody will you?

Daylight robbery is rife in Britain once again.

In the run up to the General Election #GE10 it has become apparent that the Business Secretary’s contempt for charitable organisations has reached new lows as he robs charities to claw money back the for reckless spending machine that is the Parliamentary Labour Party (PLP).

Last month Lord Mandelson decided to remove an exemption for charities from music licensing rules which quite simply means that from April 2010 those organisations will have to choose between paying large bills if they hold events with recorded music or do without the music completely.

You robbing bastard!

By law all retail outlets are bound by the Performing Rights Society (PRS) representing composers and songwriters, there is no exemption for charities.

However, a large majority of these organisations must also purchase a licence from Phonographic Performance Ltd (PPL) representing performers and record companies. Currently there are two small clauses in the Copyright Designs and Patents Act 1988 (Sections 67 and 72) that exempt charities from this requirement.

Lord Mandelson has decided to remove this exemption following a public consultation by the Intellectual Property Office (IPO) ensuring this is in place for April this year. Is this another sign that #GE10 will be in March?

Let’s consider a few areas this affects so we can see just how bloody silly this really is. A charity shop with music in the background would be forced to pay. Carnival floats that play music would be forced to pay. A carer’s association or nursery playing music to entertain the children would be forced to pay.

Think it’s wrong? You know where to put your X on polling day at #GE10.

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn’t always fair;
- and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I’m A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing

Hat tip to @TownTwinner for this realistic and sad reflection of life in Brown’s Britain.

Not your average Westminster rat that can oft be found amongst the rubble of the Palace of Westminster but an altogether dirtier and larger rat, and it’s coming to a briefing near you very soon.

Now that we have moved on from the botched coup whereby it has since been disclosed that Harriet Harman was the Cabinet Minister who failed to come out in support of the Snow Plot we see the rise in electioneering hitting new heights.

So what’s the latest on when we will be offered the chance to vote out this weak and ineffectual Government? Well, if you’ve been listening this week you will know that it is May 6th without a shadow of a doubt.

Well, hang on, let’s just take a moment to ponder that shall we? What proof do we have?

Thus far we have only two dodgy claims that May 6th will be #GE10.

The first whereby Chris Bryant ‘claims’ to know the date and uttered it quite clearly in front of a diplomatic think-tank.

Why would he? Not for any other reason than because he knew it would be reported with gusto. [I smell that rat feeding hard and fast on Mandelson prime cuts of propaganda]

The seed had been sewn and so the media were on the look out for a second faux pas. Guess what? They didn’t have to wait long when today Andy Burnham attempted to ‘accidentally’ suggest the date would be May. Again, why?

This all smacks of a smokescreen to me to put the Opposition on the back foot to take the foot off the gas pedal and one that I may be on my own supporting but hey ho, that’s what it’s like sometimes. You have to go with your gut feeling. Much the same as I did with the TV debates that I still feel will fail to materialise.

What other factors could prevent Gordon Brown from calling May 6th as #GE10?

Firstly May 6th is Tony Blair’s birthday and that alone is enough to deter #GoBro

Here are a few other issues that took place on May 6th that may make Gordon think twice with the hand of history on our shoulders:

1527 – Spanish and German troops sack Rome; some consider this the end of the Renaissance. 147 Swiss Guards, including their commander, die fighting the forces of Charles V in order to allow Pope Clement VII to escape into Castel Sant’Angelo.

1536 – King Henry VIII orders English language Bibles be placed in every church.

1542 – Francis Xavier reaches Old Goa, the capital of Portuguese India at the time.

1682 – Louis XIV of France moves his court to Versailles.

1757 – Battle of Prague – A Prussian army fights an Austrian army in Prague during the Seven Years’ War.

1816 – The American Bible Society is founded in New York City.

1835 – James Gordon Bennett, Sr. publishes the first issue of the New York Herald.

1840 – The Penny Black postage stamp becomes valid for use in the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland.

1857 – The British East India Company disbands the 34th Regiment of Bengal Native Infantry whose sepoy Mangal Pandey had earlier revolted against the British and is considered to be the First Martyr in the War of India’s Independence.

1860 – Giuseppe Garibaldi’s Mille expedition sets sail from Genoa to the Kingdom of the Two Sicilies.

1861 – American Civil War: Arkansas secedes from the Union.

1861 – American Civil War: Richmond, Virginia is declared the new capital of the Confederate States of America.

1863 – American Civil War: The Battle of Chancellorsville ends with the defeat of the Army of the Potomac by Confederate troops.

1877 – Chief Crazy Horse of the Oglala Sioux surrenders to United States troops in Nebraska.

1882 – Thomas Henry Burke and Lord Frederick Cavendish are stabbed and killed during the Phoenix Park Murders in Dublin.

1882 – The United States Congress passes the Chinese Exclusion Act.

1889 – The Eiffel Tower is officially opened to the public at the Universal Exposition in Paris.

1910 – George V becomes King of the United Kingdom upon the death of his father, Edward VII.

1935 – New Deal: Executive Order 7034 creates the Works Progress Administration.

1935 – The first flight of the Curtiss P-36 Hawk.

1937 – Hindenburg disaster: The German zeppelin Hindenburg catches fire and is destroyed within a minute while attempting to dock at Lakehurst, New Jersey. Thirty-six people are killed.

1940 – John Steinbeck is awarded the Pulitzer Prize for his novel The Grapes of Wrath.

1941 – At California’s March Field, Bob Hope performs his first USO show.

1941 – The first flight of the Republic P-47 Thunderbolt.

1942 – World War II: On Corregidor, the last American forces in the Philippines surrender to the Japanese.

1945 – World War II: Axis Sally delivers her last propaganda broadcast to Allied troops (first was on December 11, 1941).

1945 – World War II: The Prague Offensive, the last major battle of the Eastern Front, begins.

1954 – Roger Bannister becomes the first person to run the mile in under four minutes.

1960 – More than 20 million viewers watch the first televised royal wedding when Princess Margaret marries Anthony Armstrong-Jones at Westminster Abbey.

1962 – St. Martín de Porres is canonized by Pope John XXIII.

1966 – Myra Hindley and Ian Brady are sentenced to life imprisonment for the Moors Murders in England.

1967 – B52 Bombers dropped tons of explosives on North Vietnamese bunkers and troop positions

1972 – Deniz Gezmiş, Yusuf Aslan and Hüseyin İnan are executed in Ankara for attempting to overthrow the Constitutional order.

1976 – An earthquake strikes Friuli, causing 989 deaths and the destruction of entire villages.

1981 – A jury of architects and sculptors unanimously selects Maya Ying Lin’s design for the Vietnam Veterans Memorial from 1,421 other entries.

1983 – The Hitler diaries are revealed as a hoax after examination by experts.

1984 – 103 Korean Martyrs are canonized by Pope John Paul II in Seoul

1988 – An airplane flying from Namsos to Brønnøysund in Norway crashes into the side of the Torghatten mountain, killing all 36 passengers and crew.

1989 – Cedar Point opens Magnum XL-200, the first roller coaster to break the 200 ft height barrier, therefore spawning what is considered to be the coaster wars.

1994 – Queen Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom and French President François Mitterrand officiate at the opening of the Channel Tunnel.

1994 – Former Arkansas state worker Paula Jones files suit against President Bill Clinton, alleging that he had sexually harassed her in 1991.

1996 – The body of former CIA director William Colby is found washed up on a riverbank in southern Maryland, eight days after he disappeared.

1997 – The Bank of England is given independence from political control, the most significant change in the bank’s 300-year history.

1998 – Kerry Wood strikes out 20 Houston Astros to tie the major league record held by Roger Clemens. He threw a one-hitter and did not walk a batter in his 5th career start.

1999 – First elections to the devolved Scottish Parliament and Welsh Assembly held.

2001 – During a trip to Syria, Pope John Paul II becomes the first pope to enter a mosque.

2002 – Dutch politician Pim Fortuyn is assassinated by an animal rights activist.

2008 – Chaiten Volcano erupts in Chile, forcing the evacuation of more than 4,500 people.

Think long and hard Gordon, there’s some pretty gory scenes up there for May 6th; care to add to them?

Ministry Of Misinformation representative pictured adjacent to Comical Ali(stair)

Seems that even today Gordon Brown has a problem with the ‘C’ word. Call that election Gordon and you’ll know what a job cut really is.

With deepest thanks to AngryOfCroydon for this contribution.

What it will do is unfairly penalise the average man or woman in the street. The moderate drinker will now face having to pay extra for their favourite tipple in this misguided act.

A binge drinker will continue to do just that, binge their way through with little care or consequence to their family or outsiders.

An underage drinker will continue to obtain their illegal gains through the same channels but with increased sporadicity. Nobody will be safe.

Let’s face it, this idea is a tax hike by A N Other name designed to hit taxpayers in the pocket in an attempt to curb their enjoyment of a glass of wine at the end of a long hard working day. The ridiculous argument that the moderate drinker will be no worse than 11p per week off under the new scheme is just that, ridiculous.

What’s fundamentally wrong with this idealism is that the underage drinker doesn’t even pay tax let alone own the cash they are purchasing their alcohol with.

The Telegraph highlights a report Minimum pricing on alcohol should be introduced as successive governments have failed to tackle Britain drinking culture

The select committee, chaired by Labour MP Kevin Barron, says that setting a minimum price of 50p per unit of alcohol, to curb excessive drinking in England, could save more than 3,000 lives a year

The average moderate drinker would pay just 11 pence more per week for their alcohol if a minimum price of 40 pence per unit was set, the report said.

Alcohol can be bought for just 10 pence per unit – less than a bottle of water – in some stores, the report said.

That may be but the moderate drinker does not purchase meths or what other cheap crap you can bottle or can.

The moderate drinker by and large purchases to their pallet and that means wine, beer or spirits that are significantly higher in price and quality than mentioned.

Also, I believe we cannot leave it to the market to police. Simply the supermarkets will gang up on those with more cash in their pockets and lump the unfair levy on their choice of vintners special whilst keeping the Diamond White or Tenants Super Strength at rock bottom (just above the minimum price fee) as a loss leader.

One thing this report gets right is that is IT IS successive Governments that have failed to tackle the problem in the same way that it is successive Governments that have been the cause of this problem, namely:

Tony Blair 1997 – 2001
Tony Blair 2001 – 2005
Tony Blair 2005 – 2007 Gordon Brown 2007 – 2010

It was Tony Blair and the Labour Government that introduced the 24hr drinking licences within the UK, again as another tax earner. It was the Labour government that promoted a self obsessed drinking culture.

The problem we have in this country that has been heavily promoted not just in the past 12 years but largely in that timeframe is that there is a large number of people that wish to get ‘tanked up’ before hitting the club or bar they’re heading to. The reason? Because the drinks in that establishment are priced way too high, and what does this new proposal suggest?

I am not for one minute suggesting that prices are dropped across the country or establishment but merely suggesting that a sensible pricing regime is enforced.

When I was the age of clubbing I would not get tanked up prior to the event (often referred to as the ‘pre-lash’) but I would enjoy the time whilst it happened. Yes, I would often drink what I could in the time given at the bars before the club and what i could afford in the club but that is not what occurs today.

Many are the times when people start in the afternoon on cheap low quality alcohol or good quality alcohol they ‘acquire’ in a deliberate attempt to get ‘tanked up’ prior to even hitting the first bar.

Part of the problem is due to the massive closure of local pubs in this country under the current Government but I see little effort from the Cabinet and its representatives to change that any time soon.

I grew up in a pub from the ages of 11 to 16 and as an avid member of the darts team I would visit many pubs throughout the course of the year and see that those pubs were community based, in fact the whole scene was one of community. That has long since gone.

We, in this country need to reinvigorate the local pub scene so that the local public community and the local service community can work together from a local base (the pub) to police the local issues and to control the problems of the local people.

Going back to the supermarkets and their loss leaders this is not an issue in some areas such as Northern Ireland as they are not permitted to display Buy One Get One OFFers or even to supply them, also, alcohol is less visible in stores in NI compared to mainland UK. Maybe that helps? Maybe there are other issues with their culture that affect this issue instead?

Whilst we are on the subject of mainland UK and non-mainland UK why not consider this rather dramatic fact: ‘Fifteen of the 20 areas in the UK with the highest alcohol-related death rates between 1998 and 2004 are in Scotland, and the top five are all Scottish’.

Does that tell us something about the price of alcohol or something about the community within those Scottish regions?

I reiterate that this is not the issue you may think it is. If someone steals to fund their habit this will not stop them.

If they feel they have to have their fix then this will not help them and their family will suffer further.

Please think again.

We all know it is General Election year #GE10 and the most likely date is 6th May, following a Budget full of empty promises of investment, prosperity and pay later schemes. But there is currently an election looming far sooner and far more meaningful for the Labour Party and potentially the country.

It is clearly understood that any leader of the Labour Party other than Gordon Brown following a coup would be able to narrow the Poll gap between themselves and the Conservative Party as the incumbent would inevitably enjoy the honeymoon period and the ‘bounce’ that goes with a personality change.

For months it was assumed that 26th March would be #GE10 thereby allowing the Government to avoid announcing any form of Budget but that would simply not allow enough time for the new leader to make the role his/her own.

Following a pre-Christmas party hosted by Charles Clarke the former Home Secretary and one of the most vocal anti-Brown campaigners it seems one output was to brief a series of coordinated press releases slamming the leadership of Gordon Brown and stating how better off the party and the country would be without him at the helm.

Briefings: Charles Clarke, Barry Sheerman, Greg Pope, Polly Toynbee

…the list of those present includes Parmjit Dhanda, Malcolm Wicks and Meg Munn

So then, who is the in the driving seat and who is set to star in the shake-up of the Labour party?

Or, are we to face yet another failed coup from a bunch of snipers who haven’t got the courage to do anything other than moan about how bad a Conservative Government would be for Britain?

We already know that Harriet Harman is to head up Gordon Brown and the PLP’s #GE10 campaign which sidelines Lord Mandelson (a very risky strategy indeed), but was this appointment simply to the *Fearless Five striking first?

*Fearless Five are a group of rebels led by Jack Straw, the others are Deputy Labour leader Harriet Harman, Chancellor Alistair Darling, Foreign Secretary David Miliband and Home Secretary Alan Johnson.

One also has to wonder how much Sarah Brown will be used throughout #GE10 as already she has persuaded an ex-colleague from the PR field, Helen Scott Lidgett to join her in the depths of the bunker.

Today, Gordon Brown will give a speech that will be full of empty promises and scorn on the Tories but will it be enough to stave the assassins from his door?

It would be laughable if it wasn’t so scary. The Government can just throw this kind of money away in an attempt to pretty-up their message and their recycled policies and sell them to the British public using their own money.

It’s all a far cry from the day the Parliamentary Labour Party stole the choice of power from the people of Britain by denying us the right to vote for our Prime Minister and instead made the mistake of their entire lives by installing Gordon Brown.

The day Gordon Brown stood on the steps of No10 as the PM he laid claim to the future of Britain that would be led by

A government of ‘all the talents’ and an end to spin

Well, thus far I have seen very little talent both within their ranks and from those appointments they have made so much of a public fan fair of and as for claiming to putting an end to spin…

…an end to spin? Hardly.

There are now 3,284 staff employed in departmental press and communication directorates prostituting their wares for the benefit of this weak and ineffectual Government.

Coupled with this we have another [circa] 700 staff who are responsible for getting the message to the public and making clear the message to other agencies.

These eye watering statistics were obtained from the Central Office of Information ‘White Book’ of Government and agency press officers by Nick Hurd MP.

An end to spin? Not under this Government.

An end to lies and deception? Not under this Government.

An end to boom and bust? You know the answer.

So far, not even an end to the recession.

Just as an aside and seeing as we’ve mentioned the day Brown came to power I was just wondering how the PLP felt now seeing as it was them that voted Harriet Harman to be the deputy leader of the Party and not Alan Johnson. Would they care to turn the clock back, just a little?

Hardly the sort you would wish to do business with let alone hand taxpayers money to, eh?

But, that is exactly what the Government did when they sanctioned £38,200 in 2006/07 to LLM Communications in a contract authorised by Ruth Kelly (who is standing down at the next election in an allegedly unrelated move to her claim for £31,000 for decorating her second home), which went about its work in a decidedly dodgy way.

Originally LLM were contracted to highlight the work the Government was doing to showcase their plans to build thousands of extra houses in the South East but things went a little awry when a new group calling itself Campaign for More and Better Homes stepped in to support the Government and attack any group opposed to the plans specifically singling Green Groups to attack in their pro-Government press releases.

All’s well and good you may say until you discover the Campaign for More and Better Homes was being run from the quieter back offices of LLM Communication.

As if that wasn’t proof enough that a PR firm was issuing Government propaganda one Nicola Gilchrist was the Campaign’s press officer who was in actual fact a paid member of staff of LLM Communication.

To compound the problems and potential illegality of this venture Ian Parker, who in June 2009 became special adviser to housing minister John Healey was working for LLM as a senior staff member at the time of the contract.

It seems that it’s good to keep these things in-house so to speak.

Grant Shapps (Conservative Housing spokesman) is in the process of making a formal complaint to the Whitehall Accounting Officer, so let’s see where this goes.

Footnote: LLM was set up in 1997 by Labour backers Neal Lawson, Ben Lucas and Jon Mendelsohn – now Gordon Brown’s chief election fundraiser. LLM is now part of Communications Consultancy FD.